Random things about myself

So this fad to list "25 random things" has been going on for a while. The other day, I took the time to actually read some of them and found them really enjoyable. So to reciprocate, below are some very personal statements about myself. Please do take the time to read and enjoy them.

1. I feel blessed that so many friends have tagged me in notes, and blessed in general to have the friends I do. I appreciate you all thinking of me, even if it's just for a brief moment.
2. I am consciously trying to incorporate the words "bless" and "pray" into my life. I always hated these words because of the right-wing, but they are beautiful words and I intend to reclaim them.
3. I am working on being more creative. This is having the amusing side effect of making me more vocal with my opinions.
4. I confess that I am addicted to reading. I stopped for one week and had serious withdraw.
5. I care about, and am good at, too many things. While I am loathe to complain about it (I don't want to appear arrogant or unappreciative), it makes it really difficult for me to figure out what I want to do and where I want to go. For example, right now I'm debating between being a lawyer, a farmer, or an acupuncturist. Sigh.
6. I get really stressed when people try to demean my (gay) marriage. But at the same time, I think about the enormous strides that have been made with regard to gay rights, and realize that my stresses pale in comparison. I will proudly continue to inform and educate people.
7. I have always avoided being trendy at all costs. Ironically, this makes me just as beholden to trends. I realized this as a teen, and have since been trying to shake myself of this.
8. I have met great people in my fraternity and love many of them. At the same time, I find myself questioning the relevancy of such organizations in this day and age.
9. I have always considered myself an introvert and been proud of this fact. However, I have to acknowledge that life has turned me into an extrovert...!
10. The glass is not half empty. It's not even half full. It's completely full. Half with air, half with water.
11. I think that punning shows a love (and mastery) of language. It is a lost and unappreciated art form this day and age.
12. I am very aware of sentences ending in prepositions and misuse of adverbs. However, I also recognize that English is a living language and is allowed to evolve. (BUT NOT WITH THE WORD CHILLAX, WALLESKA!!!)
13. I love to travel, yet I love to be at home. I may never reconcile this.
14. I feel that Seattle is the most amazing place ever. I love it so much. It feels like heaven. But I also know that my life is here (on the east coast), and therefore cannot live in heaven during this life. It feels strangely appropriate.
15. I am deeply spiritual, traditional, and enjoy hierarchy. To this end, I worry that if I wasn't gay, I would have become a right-wing nut in the military.
16. Two driving emotions in my life have been avoiding shame, and avoiding disappointing others. I'm trying to acknowledge this, and let go of it.
17. I never had a father figure growing up. I long for one, but also realize that I am too much my own person at this point to ever allow someone to fill that role for me.
18. I believe that we are in a huge paradigm shift for our species. Peak Oil. Economic contraction (not just a recession or a depression, but contraction). Food insecurity. Community breakdowns. Lack of personal responsibility. I fear and hope for the future.
19. I have never smoked or done drugs, though I do enjoy a drink or two.
20. I am so much in love with my husband. I can see us old, gray and wrinkled together.
21. I am very aware of time. If I ever had a superpower, I would want the ability to manipulate time. Not travel through time, mind you! ... just the ability to create localized distortions in the flow of time. (ie, plant a seed and make it grow into a tree in an instant)
22. I have grown food in my backyard for two years now and love it. I want more land so I can have a mini-cow and chickens.
23. I think in systems. I always look at how connected / interconnected things are. I am hyper aware of how my personal choices can sustain many unsustainable systems and try to make my choices responsibly (buying local food, supporting independent businesses, etc). (See 18)
24. I adopt the persona of a wacky, harmless jokester. I feel this allows me to bring up things in a non-threatening half-joking manner. At the same time, I feel it hinders me from being taken very seriously.
25. There is a world I've been creating in my head since I was in high school. I call it Path. It has cities, cultures, wars, histories, magic and gods. I've used this world as a setting in a few roleplaying games, and am now attempting to do some writing about this world.
26. I can see both sides of every argument and sometimes debunk my own points in an argument. Ironically, instead of making me wishy-washy, I feel it has given me very strong convictions. I make informed choices based on equal examination from both sides. I also believe I am a very good teacher / communicator because of this.

Well, I would up with 26. I hope you learned and / or understand some things about me a little better. Thanks for reading this, and I hope you are all well.

January Life Updates

So one of my running themes for this blog has been a reflection of what's going on with my life. At the last entry I was working on (1) wedding planning, (2) Slow Food, (3) Fraternity, (4) Housework and (5) Path. I had already dropped the ideas of a starting an independent business and reclaiming my love of music. Let's see where I'm at now:

1. Wedding Planning. This is moving. I am not working on it every day, like I had hoped, but am working on it weekly. I have a space reserved, and have reserved a caterer. We have talked to a photographer (and really want to go with her - we just need to finalize things). I think our next step is to plan out our wedding day. What will happen during what hour, and outline exactly how we want our ceremony to run. I also want to find someone to be our wedding forager.
2. Slow Food. This is off like a rocket. We've been in the local paper, have received a lot of attention and have around 60 people on our announcement list. At the last meeting, we divided up into committees, each with their own agenda. And we're one step away from official, legal affiliation. Tomorrow the advocacy group is meeting (a joint meeting with Syracuse Grows, another awesome local group) and we'll be talking about drafting a sustainable code for Syracuse (included urban livestock).
3. Fraternity. I am burnt out. I did a lot of work with the Colony in December and felt consistently misunderstood and attacked. I have better things to do with my time. I have stated to the fraternal powers that be that I wish to step back from my responsibilities with the Colony. However, I am committed to reaching out to the local chapter here in Syracuse. M and I have invited the guys over to our house on Sunday for a potluck as part of a monthly thing.
4. Housework. Good god, I have a new half-bath under the stairs! It still needs to be painted, but this past week, a lot of work has been done. We replaced the sink, toilet, lights, pipes and installed new shelves.
   
5. Path. I ran a one-shot with the revised Path during my Christmas break. People really liked it. There is still a lot more work to be done, but I am moving forward. I found a reason for dragons in my world. And I've been inspired by a couple of books I've been reading. I recently drew up the continents of Path too.
   

Brotherhood

I am a Brother of Delta Lambda Phi. It's official tag line is that it is a fraternity "for gay, bisexual and progressive men" however, I like the tag line "founded by gay men for all men." I've been a Brother since 2001, but have been involved since December 0f 1998. That's ten years now.

During these ten years, I feel I've grown a lot as an individual. Until I decided to become involved in DLP I had never taken on a position of leadership. Now I have plenty of leadership experience. Heck, I speak and give presentations to the public as part of my job now. I am constantly starting projects (not always successfully but such is life). But what has DLP really given me? Would I have grown into a leadership role eventually? A network of Brothers around the county? The ability to help foster the next generation of leader?

Let me focus on this network of friends I can rely on. This is true in the abstract. Unfortunately, when I sit down and look at all of the brothers I've met over the years, I only feel I can really rely on 25 people in the fraternity (give or take). 25 people over 10 years? For an organization that purports to be about brotherhood, those are not the best statistics. Now don't get me wrong. Those 25 (give or take) people are all awesome people who have touched my life in so many ways. I have no regrets about meeting them. But do I regret the time I put in versus the effort I get out?

I believe in the ideals of brotherhood. I consider brothers people who are trustworthy and honest. People who don't just support someone, but who actively build up that person. However, over the many years, I've more often found people who belittle others in order to make themselves look bigger. I've found people who go back on their word. I've found people who are more interested in drinking and/or doing drugs than trying to get to know the person next to them.

Now I don't blame my fraternity. I honestly believe DLP is well intentioned fraternity founded with the best of ideals and principles. I just question if fraternities in general attract these negative types of people. I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't spent all my time on fraternity issues. What it would be like if I got involved in Slow Food ten years ago instead of my fraternity. But then I think about those 25 (give or take) people and I know that the grass will always be greener on the other side.

I've got plenty of years left in me to meet awesome people through Slow Foods.

... besides, I got a cool secret handshake out of the deal.