Brotherhood

I am a Brother of Delta Lambda Phi. It's official tag line is that it is a fraternity "for gay, bisexual and progressive men" however, I like the tag line "founded by gay men for all men." I've been a Brother since 2001, but have been involved since December 0f 1998. That's ten years now.

During these ten years, I feel I've grown a lot as an individual. Until I decided to become involved in DLP I had never taken on a position of leadership. Now I have plenty of leadership experience. Heck, I speak and give presentations to the public as part of my job now. I am constantly starting projects (not always successfully but such is life). But what has DLP really given me? Would I have grown into a leadership role eventually? A network of Brothers around the county? The ability to help foster the next generation of leader?

Let me focus on this network of friends I can rely on. This is true in the abstract. Unfortunately, when I sit down and look at all of the brothers I've met over the years, I only feel I can really rely on 25 people in the fraternity (give or take). 25 people over 10 years? For an organization that purports to be about brotherhood, those are not the best statistics. Now don't get me wrong. Those 25 (give or take) people are all awesome people who have touched my life in so many ways. I have no regrets about meeting them. But do I regret the time I put in versus the effort I get out?

I believe in the ideals of brotherhood. I consider brothers people who are trustworthy and honest. People who don't just support someone, but who actively build up that person. However, over the many years, I've more often found people who belittle others in order to make themselves look bigger. I've found people who go back on their word. I've found people who are more interested in drinking and/or doing drugs than trying to get to know the person next to them.

Now I don't blame my fraternity. I honestly believe DLP is well intentioned fraternity founded with the best of ideals and principles. I just question if fraternities in general attract these negative types of people. I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't spent all my time on fraternity issues. What it would be like if I got involved in Slow Food ten years ago instead of my fraternity. But then I think about those 25 (give or take) people and I know that the grass will always be greener on the other side.

I've got plenty of years left in me to meet awesome people through Slow Foods.

... besides, I got a cool secret handshake out of the deal.