Feminist

I am a feminist.

It seems somewhat weird to me, being a feminist. I mean, I'm a man, not a woman. Heck, I'm gay man at that, so it's not like I'm really even attracted me to women. But I am a feminist. It took some education on my part to get to this place. Specifically, it took the Boundaries of Syracuse seminar I took in graduate school.

Boundaries of Syracuse was advertised to me as a joint seminar between architecture and geography. However, when I got to the class, I realized that it was also a women's studies course. On the first day of class both teachers said they were feminists and this would be a feminist seminar. I was nervous.

Turns out, the class was incredible. Not only did we look at physical boundaries (like the Interstate running through the center of the city), but we also looked at subtle boundaries. Where were the masculine spaces, where were the feminine spaces? What about the children spaces and the adolescent spaces? The heteronormative spaces and the queer spaces? It was really eye-opening.

Taking this seminar I also learned that feminism is very anti-corporation, and anti-consumerism. It is pro-self-reliance. It is pro-cooperative living and holistic thinking. It is about building bonds of community, and looking at relationships and livelihoods as things that cannot have a price. All awesome stuff, and things I am very much into. And I am still friends with people from that seminar to this day!

I am definitely a feminist.

January Life Updates

So one of my running themes for this blog has been a reflection of what's going on with my life. At the last entry I was working on (1) wedding planning, (2) Slow Food, (3) Fraternity, (4) Housework and (5) Path. I had already dropped the ideas of a starting an independent business and reclaiming my love of music. Let's see where I'm at now:

1. Wedding Planning. This is moving. I am not working on it every day, like I had hoped, but am working on it weekly. I have a space reserved, and have reserved a caterer. We have talked to a photographer (and really want to go with her - we just need to finalize things). I think our next step is to plan out our wedding day. What will happen during what hour, and outline exactly how we want our ceremony to run. I also want to find someone to be our wedding forager.
2. Slow Food. This is off like a rocket. We've been in the local paper, have received a lot of attention and have around 60 people on our announcement list. At the last meeting, we divided up into committees, each with their own agenda. And we're one step away from official, legal affiliation. Tomorrow the advocacy group is meeting (a joint meeting with Syracuse Grows, another awesome local group) and we'll be talking about drafting a sustainable code for Syracuse (included urban livestock).
3. Fraternity. I am burnt out. I did a lot of work with the Colony in December and felt consistently misunderstood and attacked. I have better things to do with my time. I have stated to the fraternal powers that be that I wish to step back from my responsibilities with the Colony. However, I am committed to reaching out to the local chapter here in Syracuse. M and I have invited the guys over to our house on Sunday for a potluck as part of a monthly thing.
4. Housework. Good god, I have a new half-bath under the stairs! It still needs to be painted, but this past week, a lot of work has been done. We replaced the sink, toilet, lights, pipes and installed new shelves.
   
5. Path. I ran a one-shot with the revised Path during my Christmas break. People really liked it. There is still a lot more work to be done, but I am moving forward. I found a reason for dragons in my world. And I've been inspired by a couple of books I've been reading. I recently drew up the continents of Path too.
   

Morning Pages

Dear Systems Observations blog,

We have a great thing going. I love you dearly and feel that we get along really well together. Spending time with you has helped me learn about myself. I feel I've improved at articulating my thoughts. You really have improved my communication skills. But I owe it to you to be honest. I have a new love: morning pages.

Who is this two-bit morning-page hussy, might you ask? My friend M (or should I call her Y?) introduced us. On New Years she told me that morning pages would be perfect for me. M/Y went on to tell me about the book "The Artist Way," which introduces the morning pages technique. Morning pages are three handwritten pages done every morning, the earlier in the day the better. The idea behind them is that they clear the brain of clutter and help one become more creative during the day.

What does this have to do with you, lovely blog? Well, I find that with morning pages I am writing a lot now: 800-1000 words a day. This is much more than I write with you. With you, I feel I must censor myself. I must have a cohesive thought. I can't be sloppy around you. But morning pages? Ahh.... I can be free. I don't need to use full sentences. I even have spell check turned off! Granted, a lot of what I write for morning pages is nonsense but it's streamlined my brain. Since doing morning pages:

• I got a friend to repair the hole in my kitchen ceiling.
• I've re-started going push-ups on a daily basis.
• I've figured out a great way to keep myself from spending too much time on the computer.
• My wedding planning has become more organized.
• I've started renovations on my half bath.
• I've started repainting my full bath.

But Observations.... lovely System Observations... you too hold a special place in my heart. I share you with my friends. You contain links to the world! Morning pages retains her beauty through her mystery. She cannot be shared with anyone. Blog, you are my day, while morning pages is my night. I can not be without either one of you. Please understand that while our relationship has changed, it has not ended. I look forward to a bright new 2009 with you.

Sincerely,
PSM

Why I love Kunstler

I have a man-crush on James Howard Kunstler. There. I said it.

Of all the pundits and analysts I've read (and I read a lot) his comments are the only ones that seem to transcend the current hegemony of thought. To a lot of people he seems like some fringe wacko but to me he seem like a modern day Cassandra. (I told you I have a man-crush on him!) Look at his predictions for 2008 and tell me he was wrong. Here is his 2009 post by the way.

So what prompted this post? His blog posting this week focused on our out-going president. I think his concluding paragraph does an amazing job at summarizing the past 8 years:

To me, GWB will remain the perfect representative of his time, place, and culture. During his years in Washington, America became a nation of clowns posturing in cowboy hats, bethinking ourselves righteous agents of Jesus in a Las Vegas of the spirit, where wishing was enough to get something for nothing, where "mistakes were made," but everybody was excused from the consequences of bad choices. ...

Sheer poetry. This guy does not pull any punches. A lot of his conclusion are unsettling and I do hope they are wrong. But I honestly believe he's got his finger on the pulse.

The Commodities of Relationship

I've noticed that I have this tendency to monitor very closely the give and take in my relationships. Any relationship, romantic or otherwise. If I'm sharing a meal with a friend, I ensure that portions and/or the bill is equally split. When I am doing chores with my husband, I make sure we're both doing equal amounts of work. My motivation behind this is to ensure that my relationships are balanced, no one person doing more than another. No one person lending more money out, or driving the other more, or anything else. I want fair and balanced relationships.

But I've recently begun to realize how childish this is. Not everyone values everything equally. I like to cook and share it with my friends. It is a joy, not a chore. Should I expect someone else to cook for me as much? Or personally, I hate to drive. It stresses me out. Should I ensure that I drive in equal portions with a friend who loves driving? Ridiculous.

On a rational level, it got me thinking about the book "This Organic Life" by Joan Dye Gussow. She does an economic breakdown to determine if it is actually profitable to grow your own food. Her conclusion was that if you love to garden, it's worth it. If you hate to garden, then it's not. Not every person values all activities the same. Not every relationship will have the same balance. It depends on values.

On a more emotional level, I thought back to a book "Smoking Poppy" by Graham Joyce. In this work of fiction the protagonist parses out his love to his family. It reminded me of my balancing act. In the end, he learns that to love someone, you have to open yourself up. Let it in, let it out. I am doing a much better job living this way with my loved ones, but it is difficult to break from the conditioned parsimony. And I also realize that I can't do this with everyone, because there are people out there who will take you for a ride. It's just a matter of figuring it all out and possibly letting yourself be hurt.

And no, you can't have seven dollars... or seven hundred billion for that matter.