So I went to the local community choir last week.
Not feeling it. It felt incredibly disorganized. I didn't get a strong sense of leadership from the conductor. It felt like a bunch of people hanging out and singing around a campfire (or in this case, a stand-up piano). And you know... I can do that with my friends. M and I sing together all the time when we're in the car, or around the house. I want something more professional. I want to take my singing to the next level.
In high school, choir was wonderfully directed. I felt myself learn and grow and make amazing sound. I joined the community choir in my county and I was picked for the a capella group at school. It was great and I still remember some of those madrigal tunes. In college, I feel I leveled off in my development. I joined the university's choir and sang amazing works, and performed in amazing spaces (like at the Boston Symphony Hall). But I wasn't a vocal student, and in a crowd of 300, I was easily overlooked. When I was auditioning for the four (my senior) year the director noticed me. She said I had a wonderful voice and welcomed me to the choir. When I (politely) shared that I had been in the choir for three years already, she was shocked. That year, I was able to do some smaller ensemble singing, but again, I feel that I wasn't able to keep up with all the vocal students.
Five years have passed since I graduated college and I haven't performed since. I know I have a good voice. I know I have a good sense of pitch. The raw talent is there, I just know it. It again all comes down to intention and focus.
I sat down and did a little time analysis in my head: community choir would take roughly 3 hours a week, plus concerts. I would rather spend those three hours taking voice / guitar lessons. Yes, it will cost money, but I believe this is a much more intentional choice than just simply going with what's available.
We'll see. Now I need to find a teacher.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Natural Cycles
I went for a walk in Three Falls Woods today. It's a 175 acre wood that acts as a buffer between suburban subdivisions and a huge open-pit mine. My friend Z grew up on a house bordering the woods and took me around with M and H.
Now Z is one of the more amazing people I know. She is an environmentalist in a true sense of the word. Her job involves environmental activism. Her spirituality is both earth-based and rooted in political activism. Heck, she even lives cooperatively.
And driving into Manlius and looking around at the sub-division in which she grew up, I couldn't help but be surprised. In my experience, I've found that subdivisions created zombie people beholden to consumerism and cut off from the rhythms of the planet. How could my awesome activist friend be a subdivision monkey?
I found my answer at Three Falls Woods. Her property bordered onto the woods and she literally had a backyard of waterfalls and woods in which to grow up. The place was beautiful. The leaves were off the trees and there was a simple calm about the land. The air was fresh but not frozen. The geology was very... interactive. The path was uneven and people would stumble as a rock would jump out at them. Moss carpeted the exposed cool gray stones. And then we got to the waterfall basin. I could see where the ancient falls rushed into the hollow and smiled at the three little streams that remained, claiming the right of water to erode.
It was a great walk and it got me thinking about how our childhood homes shape us. I grew up on the tidal portion of the Hudson River near the ocean. I used to think all bodies of water had tides and that when my shore was at high tide, the opposite shore was at low tide! I would scamper among the exposed rocks looking for baby crabs or eels when the tide was out. I explored the wetlands and find forgotten trees and hidden streams. I wandered around neighboring woods and saw old stone farm walls, waterfalls and abandoned swiming basins. My brother and I both grew up in this environment. And while we turned out quite differently we both carry a strong environmental ethic. Z, growing up at the edge of Three Falls also grew up with a similar ethic.
This helps me understand why I find the whole Slow Food movement so important. Not everyone can have access to large amounts of greenspace in the way that Z and I did and see natural cycles unfold like that, but everyone can get involved with the natural cycles of food. If people have the space they can plant some edibles in their garden. At the very least one can still plant a fruit tree along the street, or have a window box of herbs. These cycles release anxiety in a stress-inducing modern world. (I know the studies are out there but I can't find a link - help, anyone?)
I was given a great gift by growing up with access to nature. My walk today remined me of it and helped me understand why Slow Food is so important to me.
Now Z is one of the more amazing people I know. She is an environmentalist in a true sense of the word. Her job involves environmental activism. Her spirituality is both earth-based and rooted in political activism. Heck, she even lives cooperatively.
And driving into Manlius and looking around at the sub-division in which she grew up, I couldn't help but be surprised. In my experience, I've found that subdivisions created zombie people beholden to consumerism and cut off from the rhythms of the planet. How could my awesome activist friend be a subdivision monkey?
I found my answer at Three Falls Woods. Her property bordered onto the woods and she literally had a backyard of waterfalls and woods in which to grow up. The place was beautiful. The leaves were off the trees and there was a simple calm about the land. The air was fresh but not frozen. The geology was very... interactive. The path was uneven and people would stumble as a rock would jump out at them. Moss carpeted the exposed cool gray stones. And then we got to the waterfall basin. I could see where the ancient falls rushed into the hollow and smiled at the three little streams that remained, claiming the right of water to erode.
It was a great walk and it got me thinking about how our childhood homes shape us. I grew up on the tidal portion of the Hudson River near the ocean. I used to think all bodies of water had tides and that when my shore was at high tide, the opposite shore was at low tide! I would scamper among the exposed rocks looking for baby crabs or eels when the tide was out. I explored the wetlands and find forgotten trees and hidden streams. I wandered around neighboring woods and saw old stone farm walls, waterfalls and abandoned swiming basins. My brother and I both grew up in this environment. And while we turned out quite differently we both carry a strong environmental ethic. Z, growing up at the edge of Three Falls also grew up with a similar ethic.
This helps me understand why I find the whole Slow Food movement so important. Not everyone can have access to large amounts of greenspace in the way that Z and I did and see natural cycles unfold like that, but everyone can get involved with the natural cycles of food. If people have the space they can plant some edibles in their garden. At the very least one can still plant a fruit tree along the street, or have a window box of herbs. These cycles release anxiety in a stress-inducing modern world. (I know the studies are out there but I can't find a link - help, anyone?)
I was given a great gift by growing up with access to nature. My walk today remined me of it and helped me understand why Slow Food is so important to me.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Growth
Capitalism needs to expand to survive. Capitalist economies were first set up during the Colonial Era. Companies took resources from around the world and made a profit off of them. This ended when governments were established around the globe. However, free market policies turn governments into the next resource to exploit. The intent is to hollow out governments so they only exist to collect taxes and manage contacts. Contract out health care. Create vouchers for private schools instead of having public schools. Hire mercenaries instead of using our own military.
Without continued expansion, capitalism starts collapsing. We all saw it with the stock market this fall. One horrible day spirals into another horrible day, which continues the trend. Capitalism is a positive feedback loop: growth creates more growth, decline creates a further decline. And in nature, there is only one thing that following a positive feedback loop: cancer.
The ultimate problem here is that we live on a finite world with finite resources. Markets can't grow forever. The planet has been exploited. Governments are being exploited. I can only guess at what next the market will go after in its continuing quest to expand.
Without continued expansion, capitalism starts collapsing. We all saw it with the stock market this fall. One horrible day spirals into another horrible day, which continues the trend. Capitalism is a positive feedback loop: growth creates more growth, decline creates a further decline. And in nature, there is only one thing that following a positive feedback loop: cancer.
The ultimate problem here is that we live on a finite world with finite resources. Markets can't grow forever. The planet has been exploited. Governments are being exploited. I can only guess at what next the market will go after in its continuing quest to expand.
Economics is Politics
This summer I read Naomi Klein's The Shock Doctrine. It was intense. The Shock Doctrine shows how the driving force behind many recent political maneuverings have been about an economic showdown. One on side of the ring you have the regulatory Keynesian economic policies. On the other you have the unregulated free market policies of Milton Friedman.
Before reading this book, I was like "well, some regulation is good to protect the environment but welfare does not work, our school system has a lot of problems, and government is bloated and ineffectual." I said this from experience: I worked in government. However, reading this book made me realize that I wasn't thinking about the implied values of each system.
The private sector largely has one bottom line: Increase revenues.
The public sector also has a bottom line: Protect the health, safety and welfare of its citizens.
Is this a simplification? Yes. But at its core the difference is there. When push comes to shove, a company needs to either stay profitable or go bankrupt. Governments are built to answer to their constituents.
Klein uses the formerly-communist countries of South America as one case study. Under Keynesian (socialist) policies, these democracies were approaching First World status. People didn't want free market policies. The US had to forcibly replace democracies with dictators because no freely elected politician would sell out his/her people. These coups weren't about Cold War influence - it was about pushing through economic "reforms." (Also: note the language American media uses toward the contemporary socialist: Hugo Chavez)
With free markets, the poor got poorer and the rich got richer. The middle class vanished and things became very dog eat dog. As a whole, the country became more poor. That is what pure capitalism, without regulation brought to South America. Look around. It's happening here in the US too.
Before reading this book, I was like "well, some regulation is good to protect the environment but welfare does not work, our school system has a lot of problems, and government is bloated and ineffectual." I said this from experience: I worked in government. However, reading this book made me realize that I wasn't thinking about the implied values of each system.
The private sector largely has one bottom line: Increase revenues.
The public sector also has a bottom line: Protect the health, safety and welfare of its citizens.
Is this a simplification? Yes. But at its core the difference is there. When push comes to shove, a company needs to either stay profitable or go bankrupt. Governments are built to answer to their constituents.
Klein uses the formerly-communist countries of South America as one case study. Under Keynesian (socialist) policies, these democracies were approaching First World status. People didn't want free market policies. The US had to forcibly replace democracies with dictators because no freely elected politician would sell out his/her people. These coups weren't about Cold War influence - it was about pushing through economic "reforms." (Also: note the language American media uses toward the contemporary socialist: Hugo Chavez)
With free markets, the poor got poorer and the rich got richer. The middle class vanished and things became very dog eat dog. As a whole, the country became more poor. That is what pure capitalism, without regulation brought to South America. Look around. It's happening here in the US too.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Where goes the intention
As a follow up to my last post, I've been thinking about what it means to be successful at something. Confidence is one part yes, but I realize it's also about where I'm putting my energy. To get specific, right now I have a bunch of balls in the air. I usually do. Here they are:
- Get a chapter of Slow Food USA started here in Syracuse. You can read more about that here.
- Evolve Path. Path is the name I use for the world in my head. No, this isn't some crazy thing (I don't think....), but I use it for running my roleplaying campaigns and as the setting for my fantasy writing.
- Fix up my house and yard.
- Plan for my wedding. Yes, I'm getting married. Next August 8th.
- Get in touch with my musical side. I recently reached out to initiate contact with some folk musicians in the area (Syracuse / Central New York has an amazing folk scene).
- Start a small side business (see previous post). I've settled on the idea of being a designer for people's houses and landscape. My spin? I'd be doing it with an east/west fusion of principles. When all is said and done, I have some strong credentials to stand upon with this one: Masters of Landscape Architecture, Bachelors in Geology and Geography, and nearly ten years of experience with Feng Shui and eastern aesthetic principles.
- Stay involved with my fraternity. Once a brother always a brother. My home chapter closed down this summer and I've spoken about working to organize my chapter's alumni and get something started again in Boston.
- Slow Food. Getting this chapter started is very important to me. I also believe it will help with my wedding, as I want the wedding to have a strong component of local food involved. This one get's the majority of my attention right now. I should do something about this daily.
- Path. At it's core, this is make believe and I do realize that. It's a fun stress relief to contemplate on this one. This one get's some attention, mainly as a stress relief. Spend a few hours a week on this.
- Home Improvement. It's getting into fall. Things are winding down. There are still some projects that I want to get done before spring, but again, this is not a high priority. This is also a stress relief (when things don't explode on me). Spend a few hours a week on this.
- Wedding. This is my ceremony comitting myself to Mike for this life. Super important to me. This one get's the second largest part of my attention. Mike and I really need to finalize our guest list and talk to places about getting our reservations together.
- Music. This is another creative outlet / stress relief. I realized I don't have the time to committ myself to anything serious right now. I am just going to join the local community choir to keep my chops warm until I have more free time. Spend a few hours a week on this.
- Business. Yeah... Not going to happen until this Slow Food thing has a bit of its own momentum and my wedding is complete. Spend no time on this until next year.
- Fraternity. Another "Yeah....." This one is also not going to happen. Honestly, I started my home chapter way back as an undergrad. It's time to let someone else carry the torch. I would be very excited to support someone in this, but it's not going to be me leading the charge. Spend no time on this until I see someone else taking a leadership role.
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