January Life Updates

So one of my running themes for this blog has been a reflection of what's going on with my life. At the last entry I was working on (1) wedding planning, (2) Slow Food, (3) Fraternity, (4) Housework and (5) Path. I had already dropped the ideas of a starting an independent business and reclaiming my love of music. Let's see where I'm at now:

1. Wedding Planning. This is moving. I am not working on it every day, like I had hoped, but am working on it weekly. I have a space reserved, and have reserved a caterer. We have talked to a photographer (and really want to go with her - we just need to finalize things). I think our next step is to plan out our wedding day. What will happen during what hour, and outline exactly how we want our ceremony to run. I also want to find someone to be our wedding forager.
2. Slow Food. This is off like a rocket. We've been in the local paper, have received a lot of attention and have around 60 people on our announcement list. At the last meeting, we divided up into committees, each with their own agenda. And we're one step away from official, legal affiliation. Tomorrow the advocacy group is meeting (a joint meeting with Syracuse Grows, another awesome local group) and we'll be talking about drafting a sustainable code for Syracuse (included urban livestock).
3. Fraternity. I am burnt out. I did a lot of work with the Colony in December and felt consistently misunderstood and attacked. I have better things to do with my time. I have stated to the fraternal powers that be that I wish to step back from my responsibilities with the Colony. However, I am committed to reaching out to the local chapter here in Syracuse. M and I have invited the guys over to our house on Sunday for a potluck as part of a monthly thing.
4. Housework. Good god, I have a new half-bath under the stairs! It still needs to be painted, but this past week, a lot of work has been done. We replaced the sink, toilet, lights, pipes and installed new shelves.
   
5. Path. I ran a one-shot with the revised Path during my Christmas break. People really liked it. There is still a lot more work to be done, but I am moving forward. I found a reason for dragons in my world. And I've been inspired by a couple of books I've been reading. I recently drew up the continents of Path too.
   

Life Updates

Slow Food is moving along nicely. I just have one more piece to fit together before sending out the chapter application. I also need to contact L about getting her web expertise which was so generous that I haven't even been able to respond to her offer. Lame of me, I know.

Wedding Planning is also moving along nicely. We have almost fleshed out our address list. Mike also came up with an awesome idea for our reception location. We received our "save-the-dates" and need to start distributing them. I just wonder if at this point, I should focus more on sending out the actual invitations. Hm.

Music is not moving. I realized that I may have to drop this entirely this year. I would like to go hang out at some jam sessions just to meet the people and take in the music. Unfortunately, I will not realistically be able to dedicate the time to learning a new instrument. On the plus side, I realize I should first learn guitar, that basic instrument, before moving on to more complex instruments, such as a mandolin.

Fraternity is unfortunately moving. I still have three fraternity commitments and one of them is taking up an unhealthy amount of my time. I am beginning to extricate myself from the responsibility of this task. However, this is a very important task and I will not just drop it. It will still take some substantial effort to responsibly pass this task on to another.

Path is slowly moving. Unlike music, which was also supposed to be a stress reliever, Path is actually functioning as a pleasant distraction. I've done more work to craft this work as my own original place and have fleshed out a one-shot adventure highlighting some of Path's unique features.

A business? Hah! I've been so busy with other things I haven't even contemplated it. This is one task that I definitely have put to bed for the time being. Thank goodness!

Brotherhood

I am a Brother of Delta Lambda Phi. It's official tag line is that it is a fraternity "for gay, bisexual and progressive men" however, I like the tag line "founded by gay men for all men." I've been a Brother since 2001, but have been involved since December 0f 1998. That's ten years now.

During these ten years, I feel I've grown a lot as an individual. Until I decided to become involved in DLP I had never taken on a position of leadership. Now I have plenty of leadership experience. Heck, I speak and give presentations to the public as part of my job now. I am constantly starting projects (not always successfully but such is life). But what has DLP really given me? Would I have grown into a leadership role eventually? A network of Brothers around the county? The ability to help foster the next generation of leader?

Let me focus on this network of friends I can rely on. This is true in the abstract. Unfortunately, when I sit down and look at all of the brothers I've met over the years, I only feel I can really rely on 25 people in the fraternity (give or take). 25 people over 10 years? For an organization that purports to be about brotherhood, those are not the best statistics. Now don't get me wrong. Those 25 (give or take) people are all awesome people who have touched my life in so many ways. I have no regrets about meeting them. But do I regret the time I put in versus the effort I get out?

I believe in the ideals of brotherhood. I consider brothers people who are trustworthy and honest. People who don't just support someone, but who actively build up that person. However, over the many years, I've more often found people who belittle others in order to make themselves look bigger. I've found people who go back on their word. I've found people who are more interested in drinking and/or doing drugs than trying to get to know the person next to them.

Now I don't blame my fraternity. I honestly believe DLP is well intentioned fraternity founded with the best of ideals and principles. I just question if fraternities in general attract these negative types of people. I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't spent all my time on fraternity issues. What it would be like if I got involved in Slow Food ten years ago instead of my fraternity. But then I think about those 25 (give or take) people and I know that the grass will always be greener on the other side.

I've got plenty of years left in me to meet awesome people through Slow Foods.

... besides, I got a cool secret handshake out of the deal.

Where goes the intention

As a follow up to my last post, I've been thinking about what it means to be successful at something. Confidence is one part yes, but I realize it's also about where I'm putting my energy. To get specific, right now I have a bunch of balls in the air. I usually do. Here they are:

1. Get a chapter of Slow Food USA started here in Syracuse. You can read more about that here.
   
2. Evolve Path. Path is the name I use for the world in my head. No, this isn't some crazy thing (I don't think....), but I use it for running my roleplaying campaigns and as the setting for my fantasy writing.
3. Fix up my house and yard.
   
4. Plan for my wedding. Yes, I'm getting married. Next August 8th.
5. Get in touch with my musical side. I recently reached out to initiate contact with some folk musicians in the area (Syracuse / Central New York has an amazing folk scene).
6. Start a small side business (see previous post). I've settled on the idea of being a designer for people's houses and landscape. My spin? I'd be doing it with an east/west fusion of principles. When all is said and done, I have some strong credentials to stand upon with this one: Masters of Landscape Architecture, Bachelors in Geology and Geography, and nearly ten years of experience with Feng Shui and eastern aesthetic principles.
7. Stay involved with my fraternity. Once a brother always a brother. My home chapter closed down this summer and I've spoken about working to organize my chapter's alumni and get something started again in Boston.
   

Phew. My point in all this is, confidence is good, but focus is better. Where goes the intention, goes the energy. My intention is scattered. Here is my resolution about these tasks / foci below:

1. Slow Food. Getting this chapter started is very important to me. I also believe it will help with my wedding, as I want the wedding to have a strong component of local food involved. This one get's the majority of my attention right now. I should do something about this daily.
   
2. Path. At it's core, this is make believe and I do realize that. It's a fun stress relief to contemplate on this one. This one get's some attention, mainly as a stress relief. Spend a few hours a week on this.
   
3. Home Improvement. It's getting into fall. Things are winding down. There are still some projects that I want to get done before spring, but again, this is not a high priority. This is also a stress relief (when things don't explode on me). Spend a few hours a week on this.
   
4. Wedding. This is my ceremony comitting myself to Mike for this life. Super important to me. This one get's the second largest part of my attention. Mike and I really need to finalize our guest list and talk to places about getting our reservations together.
   
5. Music. This is another creative outlet / stress relief. I realized I don't have the time to committ myself to anything serious right now. I am just going to join the local community choir to keep my chops warm until I have more free time. Spend a few hours a week on this.
   
6. Business. Yeah... Not going to happen until this Slow Food thing has a bit of its own momentum and my wedding is complete. Spend no time on this until next year.
   
7. Fraternity. Another "Yeah....." This one is also not going to happen. Honestly, I started my home chapter way back as an undergrad. It's time to let someone else carry the torch. I would be very excited to support someone in this, but it's not going to be me leading the charge. Spend no time on this until I see someone else taking a leadership role.
   

Phew again. It's good to sort all this out. Daily focus: Slow Food and the wedding. Weekly / Stress Relief: Music, Path and Home Improvement. See Ya Later: Business and Fraternity.