Observations on the New York State Fair

The New York State Fair is a surreal experience that erupts from the industrial waste deposits just west of Syracuse. In many respects it is like a mushroom. It appears only for a few weeks when conditions are just right, only to shrivel up and lay dormant until another year hence.

The Fair is all about spectacle. The rides, the animals, the food and the performances. But the people itself are just as much of a spectacle. While there is a $10 fee, you can find people from all walks of life, and you can come across the most interesting things. That's right, in this post-modern world, you too are part of the show.

I have joked with my friends about creating a bingo card or scavenger hunt list that captures the essence of the event. Some items in this list are core Fair experiences, while some are unsettling, creepy, or just obscure. Read on for my first draft of what I am calling the Underground Scavenger Hunt for the New York State Fair

People

• Meeting someone wearing leather clothing with tassels
  
• Seeing a pregnant woman smoke (half points if it's a mother smoking with children)
• Meeting someone with a mullet
• Meeting someone wearing animal print clothing (extra points if it's a full outfit and extra, extra points if they are mismatched, like a leopard-print top and a tiger-print bottom)
  
• Encountering someone angrily muttering and arguing with him/herself
• Watching State Police officers dance on top of a four story tower
• Finding a squad of people driving around together on scooters
• Cataloging up to 10 people wearing different uniforms (Police, Fire, DEC, etc)
• Having someone try to sell you a spa
• Finding someone wearing clothes that are not appropriate to the season (example: a winter jacket)
• Two people wearing matching outfits
  

Animals

• Finding testicles larger than a softball
• Finding some white-supremacist sheep
• Petting a goat
• Watching an animal defecate
  
• Finding a chicken that looks like a drag queen (you will know it when you see it)
  

Food

• Drinking milk from the Rainbow Bar
• Eating a Gianelli sausage product (this one is kind of a given)
• Eating something fried (also easy)
  
• Eating custard ice cream (a must!)

Miscellaneous

• Starting at the butter sculpture for one full rotation without someone jostling you
• Finding leather clothing with tassels for sale
• Finding animal print clothing for sale
• Watching someone make a product from scratch
• Getting a picture of yourself as the Dairy Princess
  

Phew. That's what I've got for now. This will be a work in progress until next summer, when I intend to unveil the official 2010 New York State Fair Underground Scavenger Hunt.