The Romantic

An Open Letter to Syracuse

2010-04-13T13:03:00.000-04:00

Dear Syracuse,

    You are my home. I have gone to school here. I have bought a home here. I have built my family here. I have lived here for nearly seven years. But, Syracuse, I am conflicted. I keep thinking about moving away. My husband has opportunities in other cities. Cities much bigger than you. And while I love you dearly, Syracuse, we don't always get along. Very few things are in walking distance, my friend, and that bothers me. Your public transportation is infrequent and does not meet any of my needs. To be frank, I think your public transportation is pretty horrible, Syracuse. Combined with that is the fact that everything around here is based on the car. Walking around is very difficult. There are all these interstate underpasses, and unkept sidewalks. Especially in the winter, Syracuse: your sidewalks are a mess.

But with all my complaints, I have a hard time wanting to leave. I have invested so much of myself in you. I want you to be beautiful. No, that's not it... you are already beautiful. More than anything, I want YOU, Syracuse, to just see yourself as beautiful. I want you to see the beautiful city I know you are, underneath all the BS. ...and even more, I want you to see what you could become. I want you to see how much MORE beautiful you could become if you gave yourself the chance.

     And that's all it is, Syracuse. You need to take a chance on yourself. Leap the cliff. I know you'll land on your feet. You already have so much going for you. You are not the failed DestiNY project. You are not Syracuse University. You are a winner, regardless of what the basketball team does. You have many quality neighborhoods. You have amazing parks. And you are affordable. You don't demand a lot from me as a resident. Sure, taxes many be high, but land value is so cheap that it all balances out. Living here, I was able to buy a house at the age of 26. Most of my peers at that time had small apartments, or were living with their parents (or living in an apartment payed for by their parents!). Syracuse, you gave me the ability to own my own land and be responsible for it. You have allowed me to have a backyard to experiment in, and transform.

      You also attract quality people here, Syracuse. I may not have the largest circle of friends here locally, but the friendship I make here, I know I will have for live. When I was living in other cities, I knew the friends I made wouldn't stay around forever. They were in that city for a job, or there as a stepping stone to other places. But with you Syracuse, I know the friends I make here are friends I could have with me for live. The people I meet here are committed. They are of a different caliber. They aren't living here because it's easy for them. They aren't here because of peer pressure to living in a "cool" city. And they aren't here because that's where their job just happens to be. No, these people are willing to take a chance on you. They aren't scared of your abandoned spaces. They see opportunity in your boarded up windows. They see the beautiful you that I also see.

     So take a chance on yourself Syracuse. Because there are a lot of people here willing to take a chance on you. And if I must leave in a few years to be with my family, please make sure that I can always come back to you.

Love,
A City Resident.

Salad for Dinner

2010-04-09T18:59:00.000-04:00

So I just had a salad for dinner. I am traveling, at an airport terminal with all sorts of yummy fast food temptations. And I make a salad from the salad bar. I am becoming one of those weird healthy people, and I like it. The salad was amazing. I had a scoop of tortellini with pesto sauce. I had a few cubes of mozzarella. There were craisins, sunflower seeds, kalmata olives, a hard boiled egg and a few slices of beets that I diced. Every bite was like a different dish entirely. Some bites were salty and nutty - lots of seeds and egg pieces. Some were very sweet - I must have gotten some beets and craisins. I felt like I was eating at least five different meals instead of just one continuous flavor (like say, a ham and swiss sandwich). And yeah, maybe I'm being healthy, but I'm also have an awesomely tasty meal. The only thing I'm missing is that heavy feeling in my stomach.

And I must give kudos to my latest fast. You all know I love fasting, dear readers. This year's fast was a fast from all breads, the entire taxonomy, inspired by this post on Slow Food USA. I cheated a few times toward the end: once for Seder, and once for the closing of Doc's Little Gem Diner. But overall, this fast taught me to get a little more creative with my every day meals. No longer could I go to a sandwich or a wrap for a default, easy meal. No more pizzas either. (Nor anymore cookies, muffins, etc, etc). I was forced to think. I was broken out of my ruts. And I think that particular fast gave me the courage, and habit, of not just going to the staples. So today, when I'm in a hurry at an airport, surrounding by temptation... I circled the salad bar.

Yum!

Man versus Machine

2010-04-08T09:09:00.000-04:00

We live in an age where energy is cheap and abundant, but I strongly believe that all geologic indicators (as well as geopolitical indicators) suggest this will not be true. Most of you should not be surprise that I believe this. And many of you have frequently heard me rant and peak oil, water scarcity, and that ilk. I'm not going to delve deeply into those topics right now. Others have said it better.

Today I'm thinking about the conflict of Man versus Machine. It's one of these standard literary tropes. And I wonder how much we believe that machines are *better* than us. They are more powerful. They are more efficient. They can work longer. Machines have taken over in the Matrix. John Henry, our mythically strong folk hero, was defeated by the steam drill. Yes, we overcome machines sometimes, but only through great difficulty, luck, or by subverting them and making them benign (while still acknowledging our reliance on their strength).

But a lot of this machine myth is based upon the assumption that energy will be cheap and abundant. ...that complex supply chains will be stable. ... that distance and location is not a factor. And in a time of energy decline, none of these assumptions will be true.

I remember a conversation with a good friend of mine. This friend is super, super intelligent. But when talking about an economy of peak oil, this friend was certain that the internet would remain. I was truly surprised by the level of important this person placed on something like the internet. Yes, the knowledge gained by the web is immense, but when someone has to choose between hiking into the mountains to repair a fiber-optical cable between two towns, and spending a week harvesting food, or constructing a building... I just can't see a rational person choosing to support the vast, elaborate machine that is the internet.

And upon reflect, I just find it amazing how deeply set a lot of our assumptions are regarding machines, regarding what they can do, and regarding their strengths.

This post was inspired by John Michael Greer's latest, and much more thorough, post on his website.

Gym Schedule

2010-03-28T20:56:00.000-04:00

So in my last post, I "came out" as a someone who goes to the gym. I've been going since September (hm, about the time my blog postings took a dive) and it's been great. I haven't been keeping track of my weight or anything, because my two goals cancel one another out: (1) lose fat = less weight, and (2) gain muscle = more weight. Instead, I'm going by my clothes. The results? My pants are more loose, and my jackets and shirts are tighter around the chest. Exciting!

So I started off only going 3 times a week, but this didn't work so well. Life would get in the way: I'd have a night meeting, a friend was in town, I was traveling, etc. There were weeks when I was only at the gym once a week. This was ridiculous - what was the point if I was only going to go once a week? Then my buddy who's been inspiring me put a suggestion in my head: go EVERY day. At first I was dubious. I am super busy individual and wasn't sure I could commit that much time to the gym. But I had goals and I wasn't going to get there by only going once a week.

Let me tell you: going daily turned the equation upside down. Instead of the gym being something that intruded on my schedule... gym became the default in my schedule. It was assumed that I would be at the gym every day, and people expected it. Suddenly, I was at the gym 5 to 6 times a week. Yes, I still had night meetings and other random things, so it wasn't actually EVERY day. But I found it was easier to go every day, then alternating days.

Sweat

2010-03-27T22:54:00.000-04:00

Let me start with a confession: I love working out. Love it. I love how my muscles get all bulging from the blood rush. I like wearing the meshy gym clothes. I really enjoy that worn out / wet noodle feeling I get after a long work out. But in a weird way, I'm most fascinated by my sweat.

Before you get all grossed out, let me tell you: I don't normally sweat. Like ever. During 90 degree weather and high humidity, I'll get a light sheen on my forearms and maybe under my eyes. People sometimes mistake this weird eye sweat for crying, but I only do that for the Titanic film.... curse you James Cameron!! Anyway, I digress. This is about gym sweat.

This gym sweat is a novelty. I am not used to it dripping down my body. Who knew that sweat in your eyes stung? And it's crazy when you're so sweaty that you can't wipe away sweat 'cause you're so sweaty. I am fascinated by this.

This is also one of the clearest indicators that I am working my body out. I have long term goals of fat reduction and muscle growth. But I'm not really going to see those results for many months (if not years). But sweat? That is a direct indicator that I am using my body and pushing my limits. It feels good.

So next time any of you are sweating, take a moment to appreciate the awesome things your body is capable of.

Small Steps Versus Canyons

2010-03-26T08:38:00.000-04:00

A common theme I've been noticing in my thoughts has to do with small steps versus canyons. To explain the metaphor: I am told by many that you need to take small steps to see growth, improvement and change. I'm told this with the health care bill. I'm told this at work. I'm told this by almost every rational person I know.

But I'm not rational, I'm a Romantic.

Contrasting this is a phrase I learned about a year ago: "You can't take small steps across a canyon." I heard this phrase at a "Designing for Bicycles" workshop. Sometimes, the best thing to do when re-designing, and re-thinking something is to break with the past and start completely fresh.

This appeals to my sense of the Romantic, but I fear jumping across a canyon and landing someplace where I don't want to be. So when is "canyon hopping" appropriate? When should I accept small changes that don't do enough?

Sidewalk Snow Removal

2009-10-31T10:41:00.000-04:00

Snow removal is a fact of life in Syracuse.... for most of us. However, there are a LOT of properties that don't clean their sidewalks. This is dangerous, as people often have to walk in the street. This is ESPECIALLY dangerous when it's around schools / universities and CHILDREN have to walk in the street. However, I just heard about this:

Westcott Area Sidewalk Snow Removal Pilot Project: there are only a few days left for residents of target blocks to send in their registration and payment.

- The purpose of this project is to guarantee safe routes to schools: Levy, Ed Smith, SU campus, ESF, SUNY Upstate
- Target blocks include
  - Westcott Street: 500-900 blocks
  - Harvard Place: 100-300 blocks
  - Euclid Avenue: 300-800 blocks
  - Livingston Avenue: 700-800 blocks
  - Ackerman Avenue: 700-900 blocks
  - Lancaster Avenue: 700-100 blocks
  - Sumner Avenue: 700-800 blocks
- there are approximately 500 properties on these blocks, and we need at least 60%, or 300 properties, in order for the project to happen (135 currently registered)
- LANDSCAPES ETC, LLC has been selected as the contractor. Contact Jon Perkins at 692-4679(w) or 447-5844(cell) or Jon@landscapesetc.net
- Deadline to register: Monday, Nov. 2

So if you live on one of these target blocks, please please please sign up! Even if you are a student, sign up and do the right thing by your neighborhood and your friends! Unless, you know.... you enjoy walking in the snow or the street.

On Syracuse Grows

2009-09-16T14:31:00.000-04:00

Syracuse Grows.

This organization formed in spring of 2008. I wasn't around during the early early inception, but as I understand it, the impetus was to create an organization that could pool together all the resources of individual community gardens around the City of Syracuse, and have them speak with a unified voice to the Powers That Be. It's an awesome idea and the organization has gotten a lot of great things done in the past year and a half. Off the top of my head, we have helped start at least three new community gardens, with one garden donating all of its food to food kitchens and food pantries. Definitely inspiring in this day and age.

Now I am on the steering committee for this organization and I'm not quite sure how that happened. I think it's because I show up to all their meetings?

Joking aside, I am committed to Syracuse Grows because I believe in community gardens and urban agriculture. I am also involved because I want to make sure Syracuse Grows and Slow Food CNY work hand-in-glove. It would be so easy for our organizations to work at cross purposes and I think I would cry if that happened. To that end, we are doing a joint "Fall Harvest" potluck. Both of our organizations will be presenting about our success and accomplishments during this past growing season. October 18th people. Mark your calendars.

In some ways, Syracuse Grows has a foot up on Slow Food CNY. We've hired a strategic planning consultant (funded by a state grant) to help us define who we are and what we want to be. We just started this past week, but it's shaping up to be very, very interesting. And honestly, I may steal some ideas and cross pollinate them with Slow Food CNY. (Get it? Cross-pollinate??)

In all, this is a laid back, knowledgeable and fun organization. Not being the Chair or anything, I'm able to relax a bit more and go with the flow. I step up when there's something I'm interested in, but I don't feel like everything rests on my shoulders like it does for Slow Food CNY.

A Random Reflection

2009-09-11T10:40:00.000-04:00

I have played around with haikus, but usually eschew poetry. However, I was looking through my old notes and saw some really poetic stream of consciousness writing. I though I would share:

Let the words express form and the
goals seek
union. Never cherish that which is lost,
And hold dear the beauty of the moment.
For loss lays quet duldrums through the mind.
Better listen to life's soliloquy:
The rapture of love, and the thrum of joy,
Glistening, shining, dancing, sparkling,.
But the heart remembers, yearns for the lost.

Then seek with the mind the balm for the heart.
Listen. Listen, hear and understand loss.
Map out the despair while holding hope's light.
And of life's drudger that chains you down,
while seeking to find the source of despair?
Pause,
reflect,
and focus.

Walk straight, head high.

On Slow Food

2009-09-10T11:57:00.000-04:00

A third posting about the my aspects of my life. See the full list here.

This time I am tackling my involvement with Slow Food USA. Last week, I started writing a posting about my role in food activism, but ran away screaming. Without a question, food activism is the most vibrant part of my life right now. It made it impossible to narrow down into one post. So I am just focusing on Slow Food USA right now. I'll post the others soon, and separately.

Slow Food USA is part of Slow Food International, a global movement that encourages and preserves indigenous food systems. Basically, it's about a combination of heritage breeds, supporting local farms, providing everyone with access to good and healthy food, and cooking for yourself. Their motto is that they promote "good, clean and fair" food.

In my opinion, that broader mission statement did not translate well to the USA. Slow Food USA became an organization of high society snobs. It was about expensive food. It was about prestige based on obscure breeds. It was about using words like "erudite" and "bouqet." Not that there is anything intrinsically wrong with that, (I am growing a pawpaw tree, after all)but it was not for me.

Then a little over a year ago, Slow Food USA started changing. They got their first national President who made it very clear that food is not "fair" if not everyone can afford it. Food is for everyone. Now that WAS for me. So, per urging of a few friends, I got a local chapter of Slow Food started: Slow Food CNY. Given that must of the legal framework is handled by Slow Food USA, this wasn't too difficult to do. Slow Food CNY is just a branch of the main organization (yes, I should know the legal term but I don't).

Anyway, somehow, because I organized it, I am now the Chair / President. On a day to day level, this means I have become some food information funnel. I pass and forward emails along like no one's business. I send out announcements. Honest, things are a little rough right now because I'm still trying to figure out who does what, and even figure out what needs to be done. However, I am confident it will all work out because I am not alone in this. I have an awesome and passionate board.

The Slow Food CNY chapter board was elected at the end of spring, just in time for summer vacation wackiness. It's been difficult for us all to sit down together, but now that summer is passed, I foresee awesomeness. Despite this whole "ships crossing thing" we have done awesome work. We just had a very successful eat-in in Elmwood Park, are in the middle of a national "Grow the Movement" drive, and we are planning a joint pot-luck with our sister organization Syracuse Grows.

I know there are still challenges ahead, but man! Who doesn't want to be in charge of an organization where almost every meeting inevitably turns into a potluck of tasty awesome food? That's right. Contain your drool, please. Go into the kitchen and make yourself a meal, or sign up to Slow Food USA and get involved with your local chapter. :-)

(Did I mention you can sign up for Slow Food USA on a purely "sliding scale" level for this month only?)

Finally - Imagine if I wrote about three other organizations in this post. You all would have killed me.

Observations on the New York State Fair

2009-09-08T13:00:00.000-04:00

The New York State Fair is a surreal experience that erupts from the industrial waste deposits just west of Syracuse. In many respects it is like a mushroom. It appears only for a few weeks when conditions are just right, only to shrivel up and lay dormant until another year hence.

The Fair is all about spectacle. The rides, the animals, the food and the performances. But the people itself are just as much of a spectacle. While there is a $10 fee, you can find people from all walks of life, and you can come across the most interesting things. That's right, in this post-modern world, you too are part of the show.

I have joked with my friends about creating a bingo card or scavenger hunt list that captures the essence of the event. Some items in this list are core Fair experiences, while some are unsettling, creepy, or just obscure. Read on for my first draft of what I am calling the Underground Scavenger Hunt for the New York State Fair

People

Meeting someone wearing leather clothing with tassels
Seeing a pregnant woman smoke (half points if it's a mother smoking with children)
Meeting someone with a mullet
Meeting someone wearing animal print clothing (extra points if it's a full outfit and extra, extra points if they are mismatched, like a leopard-print top and a tiger-print bottom)
Encountering someone angrily muttering and arguing with him/herself
Watching State Police officers dance on top of a four story tower
Finding a squad of people driving around together on scooters
Cataloging up to 10 people wearing different uniforms (Police, Fire, DEC, etc)
Having someone try to sell you a spa
Finding someone wearing clothes that are not appropriate to the season (example: a winter jacket)
Two people wearing matching outfits

Animals

Finding testicles larger than a softball
Finding some white-supremacist sheep
Petting a goat
Watching an animal defecate
Finding a chicken that looks like a drag queen (you will know it when you see it)

Food

Drinking milk from the Rainbow Bar
Eating a Gianelli sausage product (this one is kind of a given)
Eating something fried (also easy)
Eating custard ice cream (a must!)

Miscellaneous

Starting at the butter sculpture for one full rotation without someone jostling you
Finding leather clothing with tassels for sale
Finding animal print clothing for sale
Watching someone make a product from scratch
Getting a picture of yourself as the Dairy Princess

Phew. That's what I've got for now. This will be a work in progress until next summer, when I intend to unveil the official 2010 New York State Fair Underground Scavenger Hunt.

On Being Family Member and Being a Friend

2009-09-07T21:02:00.000-04:00

The second of many posts reviewing different aspects of my life.

I have a big family and I have lots of friends. If facebook is any indication (which it honestly isn't) I have nearly 900 friends. I feel blessed to consider so many people friends. Many of these people are guys I have met through my fraternity. On a completely selfish front, I love know that, through my own networks, I could find a sofa to crash on no matter where I am!

So some might say I have quantity, but not quality. This is not true! On this end, I feel even more blessed. An extreme example, I have friends who I have known since we were all 3 years old. I have no memories that do not include these guys being in my life. They are like family. There are also friends from grade school, high school, college and grad school that I consider true, strong and lifelong friends. They know who they are.

I rarely talk to these friends however. Maybe every couple of months I will talk to most of them, with my closest blood family getting a call every other week or so. I realize that unless people are actually physically close to me, I don't make a big effort to reach out. I don't like talking on the phone, nor sending long emails. (Heck, I barely even write these blogs, which are essentially letters to myself). Does this make me a bad friend? I guess it's a matter of opinion, but I can't get the quote out of my head:

"How we spend our days, is of course, how we spend our lives." - Annie Dillard.

I spend my days with the people who are immediately close to me, not the people who have shaped my life. If anything, this is where I give myself most criticism as a friend and family member. Because, when it all boils down, all of these relationships are built on one thing: communication.

Weekend Travels

2009-09-07T09:00:00.000-04:00

As a follow up to the post about multiple hats (or facets if you prefer), I want to share with everyone how this manifests in my life. Below is a list of my weekend events for the next few months. I just wrote this out for a friend who is wondering when to visit.

9/11: Nothing going on this weekend. Phew!
9/18: Park(ing) Day is this Friday.
9/25: Husband has a test this Monday, and I'm hopefully a pannelist with the 40Below summit that Friday afternoon / evening.
10/2: Travel to Jersey to visit my inlaws.
10/9: Plans to go camping this weekend.
10/16: Going to Rochester, and a Slow Food (and hopefully Syracuse Grows) potluck on Sunday, and husband has another test on Monday.
10/23: A weekend off!
10/30: Halloween weekend. Giving out candy to the kids!
11/6: Travel to Boston.

There's also other stuff that hasn't been completely confirmed yet, such as when a certain West Coast friend is coming out to visit. ... and I probably am forgetting other things too.

Anyway, off to the Eat In.

My Working Life

2009-09-05T09:22:00.000-04:00

So I'll start with my job. Employment. Work.

First off, I have to say that I am very, very grateful to be working. Even better, I am in a field I feel passionate about and ideally, my job can have a real impact on improving people's lives. However, I frequently find myself frustrated by ... well .... by reality. It's a government job and a tendency towards bureaucracy can slow things down to a crawl. I feel like I have to exert enormous amounts of energy to move my projects even slightly forward. Or, in a similar manner, I will dash ahead make all sorts of progress only to find that the nature of the project has completely shifted beneath me. As you can imagine, I find it hard to be productive. I don't like being less productive than I know I can be. I get frustrated. I get depressed. And I want to do my work even less. I feel like I will be wasting my time, energy and talents. I find it especially sad because the work itself is fascinating.

I realize that in this day and age, more people have access to more jobs than ever before. People do have the ability to choose so many things. So far I have chosen three different jobs and have yet to love any of them. Each one I have been passionate about, from geology, to GIS, to planning. I started off incredibly passionate about each field, but the passion quickly cooled. Don't get me wrong: I have loved and appreciated the things I learned, but ultimately I feel unsatisfied.

Is this a pattern? If I move into a new field, will I love it at first, and then feel unfulfilled? It makes me afraid to seriously consider doing something different. As seen from my last post, I have many different passions. But if I take the leap to a new field, will I just wind up unhappy again?

"Chose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius

I don't know Confucius. I hear you, but I just don't know.

Life Review

2009-09-04T13:18:00.000-04:00

So it's been a while since I wrote here. I've noticed that there is a definite positive feedback loop regarding blogging. When I blog, I tend to blog more often. When I don't blog, I tend to blog less. Clearly the latter has been the case this summer. To this end, I am going to go through my wardrobe of metaphoric hats and review my life at the moment. Instead of write one super long blog, I aim to post a bunch in the coming week about all of the different hats I wear. Here is a list of all my hats off the top of my head. More will probably appear:

Employee
Family Member
Local Foods Activist (includes a bunch of hats: Slow Food CNY Chair, Syracuse Grows Steering Committee Member, CSA Planning Group Member, CNY Food Policy Council Organizer)
Neighborhood Resident
Home Owner
Engaged Citizen
Beekeeper-In-Training
Married Man
Gay / Queer Man
Physical Human Being
Gardener / Wanna-Be Hobby Farmer
Writer / Artist
Musician / Singer
Dungeon Master and Gamer
Pagan
Twenty-Something
40Below Member
Delta Lambda Phi Fraternity Brother

Ugh. I could keep going but I'm going to stop. I'm getting disgusted with the number of various hats I wear. Needless to say, this outline should give me plenty of fodder for future postings.

Multiple Magazines

2009-07-06T14:50:00.000-04:00

Below is an email I just recently sent out. Life is ridiculous sometimes:

to		subscriptions@asla.org
date		Mon, Jul 6, 2009 at 2:49 PM
subject		Multiple Magazine Copies
mailed-by		gmail.com

Hello,

I called earlier this year and complained that I am getting sent two copies of Landscape Architecture Magazine every month. While it is nice to have a second copy for scrapbooking purposes, I find it an incredible waste of ink, paper and natural resources in general. The double issues, however, kept coming. And now, the July edition just landed on my desk. All four copies of it. I don't know what is going on with my subscription, but can someone please sort this out for me? I fear for an exponential doubling of issues getting sent to me, and imagine years from now, that my friends will find my body suffocated under a pile of LAMs. Clearly, I am trying to make light of this, but it does bother me regardless. Someone please clear this up for me. My member number is 1084011 (on all four copies, yes).

PSM

June

2009-07-06T14:49:00.000-04:00

Poor month of June. We barely knew ye.

... or at least this blog barely knew ye.

Danburite

2009-05-20T15:46:00.000-04:00

I love geology. I love rocks. And I definitely love crystals. Something about the purity of the molecular structure is just so beautiful. This is not me-as-a-New-Age-hippy talking.... this is also me-as-a-trained-geologist.

So I want to talk about one type of crystal that has been "speaking" to me recently: Danburite.

Danburite was first found in Danbury, Connecticut not far from where I grew up. While it looks a lot like quartz (in that both are perfectly clear), Danburite has a beautiful shovel / spade shape to the crystal. And the cross section, instead of a quartz's hexagon, a flattened diamond is found.

I just find the clarity of the crystal to be so calming. I like how it's a bit of an underdog compared to the ubiquity of quartz. In all, it is beautiful, soothing, and calming. And heck, those are definitely qualities I want in my life.

Half Bath: Remodeled!

2009-05-19T15:08:00.001-04:00

The house is a never ending source of things to do. Right now I've been focusing on a lot on the outside property. Especially weeding. I have realized that by removing the lawn and making every part of my property programmed for something.... I give weeds a much greater opportunity to thrive. But I digress.

To keep sane, I need to take a moment and look at accomplishments. I tend to focus on what needs to be done without allowing myself recognition for the work I have already done. So it is with great pleasure that I share the following photo with everyone:

Behold my half bath. Located under the stairs, about everything you see in that picture is brand new. First let me list off the problem of the old bathroom:

The old sink was 17 inches out from the wall and took up nearly half of the width of the space.
The shut off valves on the old sink did not work.
The water flow in the sink was low.
The toilet would take at least 5 minutes to stop refilling.
The water flow in the toilet was low (see item 4).
The toilet itself was from 1981 and had a huge, water-wasting tank (see item 4).
There was no shelf space.
The light fixture was too large.
The mirror was too small.
There was no storage space.

Phew. That old half-bath SUCKED. So we rounded up our friend J_Ro, an expert at these things, and got to work. We ordered a cute 9" deep sink and new toilet. J_Ro helped replace a lot of the old, corroded piping with shiny new copper pipes, and also helped re-set the new toilet. What a guy!

The old lights were removed and a new light fixture was installed (again thanks to J_Ro). The new lights were from Edward Joy Electric, a local lighting store and "a wonderland of lighting."

The mirror was found at ReStore on the Near Westide (or Salt District, if you prefer). It was a salvage mirror and has one tiny nick in it.

I picked up some plywood and cut the shelf. It's only a few inches wide under the mirror wall, but I've found it to be incredibly useful.

(Not shown: above the door, M and I built a new shelf for long term storage for paper towels, TP, and cleaning supplies.)

Finally, the repainting and original artwork courtesy of Hypersteve. That's right. I own the original artwork for the Magic Card "Merrow Commerce." Be jealous.

Housing Trends

2009-05-10T22:28:00.000-04:00

Syracuse Real Estate

I think that graph says it all.

Back in 2006, when I bought my house, I knew Syracuse was a good place to buy a house. Why? The simple reason that there never was a housing bubble here to burst. This past year has seen the prediction come true. As housing prices tumble around the country, Syracuse remains.... well... not "strong" per se.... but stable. Syracuse remains stable, and slowly rising. The trend especially becomes visible when you click on the "10yr" button above.

(Thanks goes to Zillow for their handy graph.)

The Late Night Buzz

2009-04-29T11:27:00.000-04:00

No, I am not referring to coffee in my title. I am referring to a sound that woke me up a 1:37AM last night. Something.... buzzing. My little feline was pretending to be night hunter and swatting at something near my head. Half-awake, I look over and see a large blackish object flitting about, banging into the nearby window. I watch for a few minutes, unable to make our what kind of insect it is. Resigned and awake, I move to turn on the light.

I see this:A yellowjacket. A large - yellow - buzzing - stinging - yellowjacket. And I am in my skivvies with lots of vulnerable, fleshy, half-awake body to tempt the offending intruder. And I do not like this.

I back away and dress myself. Jeans and long sleeves. Protect the skin! The yellowjacket has taken a fondness for the mattress and the wall next to our bed. I also note with scientific fascination, that the insect is attracted to the light of my reading lamp. I pray the wasp gets burnt by the halogen lamp, but it seems unaffected.

Still, I hesitate. I don't really enjoy killing things. Especially not when I might miss and enrage the stinging beast. So I leave it to our night hunter, our prowling cat Morgan.

Morgan, for her part, is fascinated and bored at the same time. Honestly, I don't know what else I would expect from a cat. She would stare at it... bat at it for a bit... then walk away as if she found something better to do. She once put her paw on it and then jumped back, as if surprised that it was moving. After watching the pathetic dance between cat and yellowjacket for a few minutes, I got impatient. Clearly my cat sucks as a hunter. I grab a notebook and wham it against the wall. The ensuing crunch is both satisfying and horrifying.

Here, for you all to review, is the yellowjacket that disrupted my precious, precious sleep And if you think I've just got some super-zoom thing going on, here is our friend with a quarter. Notice how this thing is ALMOST THE SAME SIZE AS THE QUARTER:
It was 2:13 by the time I had taken pictures, rearranged the furniture, and disposed of the body. Morgan was happily purring as I settled into bed.

Mike, for his part, had fallen asleep in the office and missed the whole thing. Jerk.

Tomato

2009-04-27T09:48:00.000-04:00

You call that a tomato?

Now, this.... this is a tomato!

Yes, that is my hand holding up that beast. This puppy was one of the heirloom tomatoes I harvested from my backyard last year. I think the warm weather is making me nostalgic....

Marriage Equality

2009-04-21T15:09:00.000-04:00

The following is a letter I wrote to my state senator, David Valesky, upon encouragement of a friend of mine. Senator Valesky supports civil-unions, but not same-sex marriage. If you are in New York State, or know someone in New York, please encourage them to write their state senator. Check out the Empire State Pride Agenda's website for a form letter submission.

Senator Valesky,

Thank you for your response. I've actually been following your campaign for sometime now. I voted for you back in 2004, and I remember it was a close race back then. I was happy to help you unseat the Republican incumbent. So now I guess I am asking a favor back from you. I don't know if its fair for me to ask a favor, but as I've learned, it never hurts to ask.

This "same-sex marriage" issue is about much more than a form letter for me. I am a man married to man. I think people call us one of the "California 18,000" or whatever. I had always planned on marrying my boyfriend and then a convergence of events happened. My boyfriend had gotten into SUNY Update Medical and we planned a vacation to California to celebrate. Then we heard about the CA court decision, and Patterson's decision to recognize out of state gay marriages. It felt like God himself was giving us his blessing. So I called over to Poland to ask my boyfriend's mother for her blessing in our marriage (God's blessing was good, but my future mother-in-law's blessing was important to me too!!). So we turned our vacation into an elopement, with my husband's brother acting as our witness.

During this past year I've been living with the strange double-standard of being in a same-sex marriage. When getting him insurance through my work, I was repeatedly asked to fill out "domestic partnership" forms. One question in particular on these forms asks "Are you married?" I felt it was insulting and refused to sign them. I was legally married and should not have to do anything different than any other legally married couple. Now I am a realist here, so I brought in a copy of our marriage license as additional proof of our marriage, but I refused to call him my "domestic partner" or any such thing. We are married and he is my spouse. Eventually, after calling over some people's heads, I was able to get him on my insurance.

It all sounds so banal now, but every time someone treated my marriage differently, and tried to call it a different name, if felt to me that my love for my husband was being demeaned. I was as if our love was somehow different because our bodies are different. It was stressful and hurtful. This is why I feel so strongly that love is love and marriage is marriage. There is not a difference, and anyone who cites religion is hiding behind their own fears. People have cited the Bible against inter-racial marriage, women's rights, and even against abolition. We, as people, are all somewhat afraid of the unknown. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. But when individuals are demeaned because of others' fears... that is unacceptable.

I also want to give you some background on who I am. I grew up in the Hudson Valley, and lived in Boston and Seattle. I moved to Syracuse in 2003 for graduate school. I met my husband while we were both in school. After graduating, instead of moving away, we chose to stay here in Central New York. We fought the brain-drain and bought a house in Syracuse that we've been fixing it up for almost 3 years. Our property was previously used for student housing, and we have since converted it to our home. I have been involved with the University Neighborhood Preservation Association, 40Below, and the Onondaga Creek Revitalization Plan. I volunteered for the Downtown Living Tours and have started a chapter of Slow Food USA in the CNY region. I am very engaged and care about this community.

Senator Valesky, I am, by almost all standards, the type of young person this region wants to keep. Yes, young: I am only 28 and my husband is 24. However, my husband graduates from SUNY Upstate Medical in a few years. While we love Syracuse, we've been seriously thinking about moving to Massachusetts or some other state that has taken the bold initiative to out-right acknowledge same-sex marriage. I hope you can show me that you want people like me to stay. I hope you can show me that my marriage, and my love, is as equally protected and recognized as any other person's.

PSM

Blog Name

2009-03-25T13:20:00.000-04:00

Apparently, *some* find my blog name off putting. Personally, I'm not much attached to it either. I am accepting nominations and love hearing people's ideas. Here are some ideas I like so far:

"Mercurial Thoughts" (My current favorite, though I worry that might sound just as cold and technical as "System Observations")
"Connecting Dots"
"Homegrown and Naturally Sweet"
"Green and Wild"
"Confounded by Consciousness"
"Eschewing Obfuscation"

Again, I'm not really attached to anything here, so keep the ideas coming!

Calvin Coolidge and Chickens

2009-03-24T13:40:00.000-04:00

Everyone knows that I'm obsessed with chickens these days. I really want to have some chickens for fresh eggs every day. That being said, I came across this entry in wikipedia about "the Coolidge Effect" when reading up about the President:

The term comes from an old joke, according to which President Calvin Coolidge and his wife allegedly visited a poultry farm. During the tour, Mrs. Coolidge inquired of the farmer how his farm managed to produce so many fertile eggs with such a small number of roosters. The farmer proudly explained that his roosters performed their duty dozens of times each day.

"Perhaps you could point that out to Mr. Coolidge," pointedly replied the First Lady.

The President, overhearing the remark, asked the farmer, "Does each rooster service the same hen each time?"

"No," replied the farmer, "there are many hens for each rooster."

"Perhaps you could point that out to Mrs. Coolidge," replied the President.

Amazing.

Presentation Bingo

2009-03-23T16:03:00.000-04:00

I go to a lot of presentations as part of my job. And living in a smaller city, I know a lot of the different presenters. In fact, it has gotten to the point where I can mentally come up with a list of different terms each presenter will use. For example, here is a list of terms I attribute to someone whom I value deeply:

citizens
visual quality
Rome (or Roman)
signature institutions
redlining
Philadelphia
urban & urbane
urban forestry

I have this strange fantasy of creating a bingo card with these terms on it. As he speaks each word, I check off that box. Eventually I will stand up in the middle of the presentation and shout out bingo.

Sometimes I wonder if I am really a professional, or just a kid in a tie.

How Path came to be

2009-03-20T11:24:00.000-04:00

Path is a world that's been in my head since I was a teenager. Any game that I've run have been set in the world of Path (I didn't always call it that though). Now, I feel I've got some unique skills here when it comes to world building. I have training as a geologist, as a cultural geographer, as a landscape architect, and as a neighorhood / urban planner. So when I put something in Path, a lot of thinking has gone into that decision.

Path used to be a very high fantasy, sword and sorcery world. Dragons, elves, goblins, gnomes.... you name it. Spells were flung left and right. I was typically using D&D as the mechanic set for my games, and that brings with it a certain Tolkien-esque baggage. It made my world act like every other fantasy world out there. I just had different names for my cities, and different maps.

I was fine with this until two things: Brandon Sanderson and D&D 4th Edition. Sanderson's books show me fantasy worlds that weren't D&D and weren't Tolkien. And they were awesome, incredible worlds. Why have dwarves when you can have kandra? Why have arcane magic when you and have symbol-based magic? On the flip side, Wizards/Hasbro recently released an upgrade to the D&D line: 4th Edition. And you know... I didn't like it. Honestly, I gave it a chance. It's not that it's horrible or anything, it's just not what I'm looking for in a fantasy game. It make me question why I had to use D&D as a base at all. Why use a game system that has so much baggage?

Basically, each got me thinking and asking questions about Path. Why are there elves on my world? Why is there magic? What is magic, anyway? Who are the gods and why are they there? I asked "why" about some very big questions. And, not surprisingly, I started finding my own answers. I literally re-created the framework of my world from scratch. I started utilizing GURPS as a playtesting framework, which is by definition setting neutral. And this world, my own unique world, will be the setting for my novel.

A Novel

2009-03-20T10:42:00.000-04:00

Well, I am taking the leap: I will write a novel.

I enjoy reading. But I also enjoy writing and story telling. I recently took a stab at a short story and have gotten some positive feedback and constructive criticisms. But really, I want to write a novel. So I am taking on the challenge. I will write a novel. This novel will probably preoccupy my blogging for the upcoming months. I'll be throwing out story idea, maybe comparing scenes. Expect me to talk a lot about my inspirations and my setting. Don't expect much personal reflection or social commentary. (Or maybe I'll be completely wrong and my blog will be my time away from the novel. Who knows?)

So let me start with the genre: fantasy. I love reading fantasy and it seemed the natural fit for my story. I've mentioned before that I have a world in my head: Path. This story will take place on Path. I intend to write about the Sammarian War. This war reshaped the cultures of a continent and I think its fascinating and epic. A lot of interesting figures emerged during this time and I am excited to tell their story.

Maybe I am taking on more than I can chew. I realize that a sweeping war epic can be really difficult to write. ... but I have to be honest with myself: it's where my interest is. If I fail at putting together a cogent novel, well... then I fail. That's not the point really. The point for me is that I write what I am interested to write about. The point is that I follow my passion and create that.

Wish me luck!

Random things about myself

2009-02-27T10:31:00.000-05:00

So this fad to list "25 random things" has been going on for a while. The other day, I took the time to actually read some of them and found them really enjoyable. So to reciprocate, below are some very personal statements about myself. Please do take the time to read and enjoy them.

I feel blessed that so many friends have tagged me in notes, and blessed in general to have the friends I do. I appreciate you all thinking of me, even if it's just for a brief moment.
I am consciously trying to incorporate the words "bless" and "pray" into my life. I always hated these words because of the right-wing, but they are beautiful words and I intend to reclaim them.
I am working on being more creative. This is having the amusing side effect of making me more vocal with my opinions.
I confess that I am addicted to reading. I stopped for one week and had serious withdraw.
I care about, and am good at, too many things. While I am loathe to complain about it (I don't want to appear arrogant or unappreciative), it makes it really difficult for me to figure out what I want to do and where I want to go. For example, right now I'm debating between being a lawyer, a farmer, or an acupuncturist. Sigh.
I get really stressed when people try to demean my (gay) marriage. But at the same time, I think about the enormous strides that have been made with regard to gay rights, and realize that my stresses pale in comparison. I will proudly continue to inform and educate people.
I have always avoided being trendy at all costs. Ironically, this makes me just as beholden to trends. I realized this as a teen, and have since been trying to shake myself of this.
I have met great people in my fraternity and love many of them. At the same time, I find myself questioning the relevancy of such organizations in this day and age.
I have always considered myself an introvert and been proud of this fact. However, I have to acknowledge that life has turned me into an extrovert...!
The glass is not half empty. It's not even half full. It's completely full. Half with air, half with water.
I think that punning shows a love (and mastery) of language. It is a lost and unappreciated art form this day and age.
I am very aware of sentences ending in prepositions and misuse of adverbs. However, I also recognize that English is a living language and is allowed to evolve. (BUT NOT WITH THE WORD CHILLAX, WALLESKA!!!)
I love to travel, yet I love to be at home. I may never reconcile this.
I feel that Seattle is the most amazing place ever. I love it so much. It feels like heaven. But I also know that my life is here (on the east coast), and therefore cannot live in heaven during this life. It feels strangely appropriate.
I am deeply spiritual, traditional, and enjoy hierarchy. To this end, I worry that if I wasn't gay, I would have become a right-wing nut in the military.
Two driving emotions in my life have been avoiding shame, and avoiding disappointing others. I'm trying to acknowledge this, and let go of it.
I never had a father figure growing up. I long for one, but also realize that I am too much my own person at this point to ever allow someone to fill that role for me.
I believe that we are in a huge paradigm shift for our species. Peak Oil. Economic contraction (not just a recession or a depression, but contraction). Food insecurity. Community breakdowns. Lack of personal responsibility. I fear and hope for the future.
I have never smoked or done drugs, though I do enjoy a drink or two.
I am so much in love with my husband. I can see us old, gray and wrinkled together.
I am very aware of time. If I ever had a superpower, I would want the ability to manipulate time. Not travel through time, mind you! ... just the ability to create localized distortions in the flow of time. (ie, plant a seed and make it grow into a tree in an instant)
I have grown food in my backyard for two years now and love it. I want more land so I can have a mini-cow and chickens.
I think in systems. I always look at how connected / interconnected things are. I am hyper aware of how my personal choices can sustain many unsustainable systems and try to make my choices responsibly (buying local food, supporting independent businesses, etc). (See 18)
I adopt the persona of a wacky, harmless jokester. I feel this allows me to bring up things in a non-threatening half-joking manner. At the same time, I feel it hinders me from being taken very seriously.
There is a world I've been creating in my head since I was in high school. I call it Path. It has cities, cultures, wars, histories, magic and gods. I've used this world as a setting in a few roleplaying games, and am now attempting to do some writing about this world.
I can see both sides of every argument and sometimes debunk my own points in an argument. Ironically, instead of making me wishy-washy, I feel it has given me very strong convictions. I make informed choices based on equal examination from both sides. I also believe I am a very good teacher / communicator because of this.

Well, I would up with 26. I hope you learned and / or understand some things about me a little better. Thanks for reading this, and I hope you are all well.

The Faceless Minority

2009-02-25T09:15:00.000-05:00

I've been reflecting a lot recently on being gay. Being gay, like the title of this post indicates, is like being a part of a faceless minority. Sure there are always pink triangles, rainbow flags, or I dunno... a love of Madonna. And there are gay actions, like being affectionate with a same-sex partner or spouse. But these are not intrinsic to the physical self. They are cultural symbols, overlain, and personal actions taken.

If you take a gay person and look at him or her in isolation, will you know this person is gay? Without a triangle or someone mentioning a same-sex partner, what is there to indicate homosexuality? Now mentally do the same for someone of Asian descent. Without the actions or the symbols, you can still tell this person is Asian. It's a part of this person's physical being. It is visible to all, regardless of symbols or actions. Gay people, in lieu of these items or actions, have literally no way to identify one another.

So when you're a teen, struggling to understand your own sexuality.... this facelessness can be terrifying. Personally, I grew up feeling I could talk to my family. But then, as a teen, I suddenly feared talking to them. Would they still love me? Would they dismiss my feelings? Would they pretend to accept me, while actually not? I had it lucky. A lot of other youths wonder: Will I get sent away to a conversion camp? Will I get beaten? Will I get kicked out of my house? As a gay teen, the sense of isolation can be overwhelming. You are all alone and faceless. And often, suicide is contemplated or attempted.

Now, to be fair, there are some "benefits" to the facelessness. Not every place is safe right now for gay people. When in those places, you can hide your identity. You don't take a gay action. At the same time, this is dangerous. You are forced to hide a beautiful part of yourself. This action of closing part of you soul induces huge amounts of shame. This is why I put benefit in quotes above: I honestly wonder if there is any real benefit. But this is at least an option other minorities don't have. The key is to balance feelings of safety with feelings of self-worth.

For me personally, my family took the information well on the surface, but I feel emotionally they haven't yet come to grips. Over ten years later, they are uncomfortable when my husband and I hold hands. They notice when I sit close to him, or put an arm around his shoulder. When he and I exchange a quick peck on the lips, they call it an "inappropriate public display of affection." (Yes, public affection they call it, even when it takes place in the privacy of a house) Being gay has no look, only an action, and these actions remind my family of my sexual identity. It makes them uncomfortable, and it makes me feel ashamed for being myself. Now I can get over my feelings of shame, but I cannot change their feelings. I can only pray that someday they will be fully comfortable with all of me.

Fasting

2009-02-25T09:12:00.000-05:00

(This is a copy of my post at the Slow Food CNY blog)

Fasting. While this is a blog about food, I want to post about the absence of food. If you think about it, the slowest food possible is the food that never reaches your mouth. ;-) While I am not Catholic, I personally find this time of year a good time to fast. The long of winter is (mostly) behind us, and spring is around the corner. Time to do some internal spring cleaning, I say.

Almost every year, I conduct a carbohydrate fast, or some variety thereof. This year I am trying to fast from wheat, refined sugars, and artificial sugars. The wheat is because I am curious if I have a slight allergy to wheat. The refined sugars are because I want to loose my winter weight. And the artificial sugars are on the list as more of a spiritual objection to the overly sweetened foods we have so readily available to us. I want to cut down on the sweetness. (Sorry, but I am not giving up honey this year.)

Does anyone else around here fast? Do you do it for spiritual reasons or health reasons? (Or both??)

Illegal Immigration

2009-02-24T13:40:00.000-05:00

Today I got a forward from a relative of mine. I believe this relative was well meaning, but there was such malice and fear behind the forward, I could not help but to respond. The forward read something like this:

You think the war in Iraq is to blame for our budget problems (and hence our economic problems)? No, it's the fault of illegal immigrants. We're spending billions of tax payer dollars on them. Here's a list of 14 items proving it. Contact your legislators so we can kick them out!

Now, I agree that there are a lot of problems with illegal immigration in this country, but my relative's forward did nothing but vilify the immigrants. So I responded with a list of my own. Here it is:

Calling people "illegal immigrants" hides their humanity. You forget they are also human beings, people like you and me. I am going to refer to them as people, not illegal immigrants.
We did have a push for immigration reform a few years back. Unfortunately many (but not all) Republicans blocked its passing.
A lot of people are leaving the horrible economic conditions in their home communities with the hope and promise that there are jobs here in America.
Many (not all) of these horrible economic conditions are caused by political instability and policies of globalization. It is now widely understood that much of the political instability in developing nations during the past century came from US government backing dictators and coups. (Read "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" or "Shock Doctrine" if you don't believe me)
These people would not have jobs here in America in the first place if legal Americans didn't hire them.
Legal Americans are hiring them because, as employers, they don't have to pay taxes on them (hence the tax burden gets shifted onto the rest of us - ie, the cause of some of those figures the forward lists).
To not vilify only the employers, I'd like to point out that many legal Americans would not WANT these jobs, working incredibly (and possibly illegally) long hours at pesticide laden fields, multinational big box warehouses, or in meat processing facilities.
Horrible, unsanitary and dangerous jobs like these would not exist at all if consumers cared about more than buying the cheapest item on the shelf. Think about that next time you bite into a beautiful, store-bought strawberry. Try to imagine who picked it.
Finally, as much as it sucks that our government spends a lot of money on illegal immigration, I would rather have my government spending money within the country to try and fix our internal problems, than spending it halfway across to world to kill people.

We are all connected in this globalized world. Think about the consequences of your actions and the consequences of your spending choices. And in the worlds on one wise man, "Cast not the first stone."

Richard Einhorn

2009-02-17T09:44:00.001-05:00

This is my second post about a man-crush. This time around, I have a man-crush on Richard Einhorn. It all started with a simple invitation. One of my more musically-inclined co-workers invited me to an oratorio about Charles Darwin called "The Origin." He was performing on the clarinet and offered me discount tickets. He also told me that the piece was composed by Richard Einhorn.

"Who?" I wondered. And then I searched YouTube. Here's what came up:

The Passion of Joan of Arc with Einhorn's Voices of Light. Good god. I listened to all eight parts. I was moved by the film. I was moved by the music. I cried. It was wonderful. It inspired me to spend an afternoon reading about Joan of Arc and this film.

The film was thought to be lost for many years, until it was found in an Oslo mental institution. The story goes that when Richard Einhorn saw it, he thought:, "I must compose a piece to this!" And so "Voices of Light" was born with humble origins as a soundtrack, but so so much more.

Oh, and "The Origin?" Completely amazing as well. There were some performance flaws, but it never detracted from the performance. Great, great stuff. I look forward to finding a recording that I can own!

Organic Vodka

2009-02-16T15:25:00.000-05:00

I am not a huge fan of most alcohol. I can appreciate beer and wine, but in the end, they make me feel somewhat sick. I used to wonder if I am allergic to alcohol (like, more so than most). But then I realized hard liquor has never bothered me. I never get the spins. I never get a hangover. Just a very nice buzz.

Now with beer and wine, you have micro-brews and locally grown wine. But what's a foodie who likes hard liquor to do? Well, you go to Al's Wine and Whiskey Lounge. This place is awesome. It has plush leather sofas and a nice book-ish ambiance. It has amazingly professional bartenders who can have a long conversation with you about the different whiskeys they carry. It's also in Downtown Syracuse and doesn't have a dedicated parking lot, which I think is great.

Now, as with anything I like, it has a weird history. When I first came to Syracuse it was called Awful Al's. It was a cigar bar. As a non-smoker, I avoided the place like the plague. Then NY became non-smoking. For a while, it held out as a cigar bar and had an ever greater concentration of smokers. Ick. But something changed. I don't know how, why or when. They changed the name. And now, I love them. Here's why:
You got it. That menu says domestic, organic vodka. This is what I have been waiting for. Instead of just being foodie about my beer and wine, I can be a foodie about my hard liquor too! Let me also point out the third item down: Rye. Now that is rye vodka, but they also had rye whiskey (perhaps I was a little too buzzed to notice the difference when this picture was taken). Anyway, ever since I read the Slow Food USA post about rye whiskey, I've had a hankering for an authentic Manhattan. That night I had two. Awful Al's - you rule.

Sorry, I mean.... Al's Wine and Whiskey Lounge. ;-)

Wedding Forager

2009-02-04T21:09:00.000-05:00

So, what is a wedding forager? I mentioned this in an earlier blog and some people have been asking me this question. Well, if you do a google search you find... erm... my blog. Well then, that is strange. I don't think I'm making this up. I got the idea from our wedding photographer and friend, C.

M and I were talking with C about our color scheme and general wedding ideas. She's done a lot of weddings in her time and is a great source of ideas. I told her how we don't want the typical florist flowers that have been shipped across continents and covered in pesticides. No! We are committed to having a local, slow food type wedding. Our solution? Instead of having a wedding florist, we would have someone pick local wildflowers and use whatever is in season. C provided us with the term "wedding forager."

So I expect the wedding forager to go out the day before and the morning of the ceremony. She (our forager is a she) would find whatever flowers are in season and pick them. We also gave her creative license to forage for anything else that would look good as a center piece. Basically, we are letting nature (and our friend's instincts) tell us what our center pieces will be. We haven't talked boutonnieres yet, but I figure they would be along similar lines.

We already asked Y/M if she would be our forager, and she agreed. I also want to ask Z to be a co-wedding forager. Z is from this area knows many of the local fields intimately. Y/M is not from here, but she has an incredible design eye. I think these two women will make an awesome team.

And that, my friends, is a wedding forager.

Pizza frite

2009-02-03T21:25:00.000-05:00

I wrote in an earlier entry about my love of pizza frite and how important it is to me. Well, I had my husband take some photos of my brother and me making pizza frite this past Christmas and I thought I would share them. Enjoy my photo tour of one of my most personal food experiences.

You start out with some pizza dough. Make it yourself, or buy some from the store. Stretch it out and then cut it up into crazy pieces.

Be sure to make lots of cuts and holes! My brother and I like to find images in the frite (kind of like looking at clouds). Every year we seem to make at least one Christmas tree, one crab and a bunch of fishbones. I wonder what that says about the two of us.

Fry up the dough pieces in a skillet of oil. Flip them over with tongs and brown both sides. When you take them out, we always cool the frite on some paper towels to help absorb the oil.

And voila! Pizza frite! We spread the Christmas brunch table with all sorts of sweet condiments for the pizza frite: jams, maple syrup, honey and powered sugar. But my personal favorite is sugar with some salt mixed in. Or if I'm feeling adventurous, just the salt alone. What can I say? I'm a savory guy.

Let me leave you all with one last picture. In order to pump these guys out you need a conveyor belt of activities, with one person as cutter and one as fryer. Here you can see the teamwork in action!

Feminist

2009-01-28T17:59:00.000-05:00

I am a feminist.

It seems somewhat weird to me, being a feminist. I mean, I'm a man, not a woman. Heck, I'm gay man at that, so it's not like I'm really even attracted me to women. But I am a feminist. It took some education on my part to get to this place. Specifically, it took the Boundaries of Syracuse seminar I took in graduate school.

Boundaries of Syracuse was advertised to me as a joint seminar between architecture and geography. However, when I got to the class, I realized that it was also a women's studies course. On the first day of class both teachers said they were feminists and this would be a feminist seminar. I was nervous.

Turns out, the class was incredible. Not only did we look at physical boundaries (like the Interstate running through the center of the city), but we also looked at subtle boundaries. Where were the masculine spaces, where were the feminine spaces? What about the children spaces and the adolescent spaces? The heteronormative spaces and the queer spaces? It was really eye-opening.

Taking this seminar I also learned that feminism is very anti-corporation, and anti-consumerism. It is pro-self-reliance. It is pro-cooperative living and holistic thinking. It is about building bonds of community, and looking at relationships and livelihoods as things that cannot have a price. All awesome stuff, and things I am very much into. And I am still friends with people from that seminar to this day!

I am definitely a feminist.

January Life Updates

2009-01-26T09:03:00.000-05:00

So one of my running themes for this blog has been a reflection of what's going on with my life. At the last entry I was working on (1) wedding planning, (2) Slow Food, (3) Fraternity, (4) Housework and (5) Path. I had already dropped the ideas of a starting an independent business and reclaiming my love of music. Let's see where I'm at now:

Wedding Planning. This is moving. I am not working on it every day, like I had hoped, but am working on it weekly. I have a space reserved, and have reserved a caterer. We have talked to a photographer (and really want to go with her - we just need to finalize things). I think our next step is to plan out our wedding day. What will happen during what hour, and outline exactly how we want our ceremony to run. I also want to find someone to be our wedding forager.
Slow Food. This is off like a rocket. We've been in the local paper, have received a lot of attention and have around 60 people on our announcement list. At the last meeting, we divided up into committees, each with their own agenda. And we're one step away from official, legal affiliation. Tomorrow the advocacy group is meeting (a joint meeting with Syracuse Grows, another awesome local group) and we'll be talking about drafting a sustainable code for Syracuse (included urban livestock).
Fraternity. I am burnt out. I did a lot of work with the Colony in December and felt consistently misunderstood and attacked. I have better things to do with my time. I have stated to the fraternal powers that be that I wish to step back from my responsibilities with the Colony. However, I am committed to reaching out to the local chapter here in Syracuse. M and I have invited the guys over to our house on Sunday for a potluck as part of a monthly thing.
Housework. Good god, I have a new half-bath under the stairs! It still needs to be painted, but this past week, a lot of work has been done. We replaced the sink, toilet, lights, pipes and installed new shelves.
Path. I ran a one-shot with the revised Path during my Christmas break. People really liked it. There is still a lot more work to be done, but I am moving forward. I found a reason for dragons in my world. And I've been inspired by a couple of books I've been reading. I recently drew up the continents of Path too.

Morning Pages

2009-01-12T13:07:00.001-05:00

Dear Systems Observations blog,

We have a great thing going. I love you dearly and feel that we get along really well together. Spending time with you has helped me learn about myself. I feel I've improved at articulating my thoughts. You really have improved my communication skills. But I owe it to you to be honest. I have a new love: morning pages.

Who is this two-bit morning-page hussy, might you ask? My friend M (or should I call her Y?) introduced us. On New Years she told me that morning pages would be perfect for me. M/Y went on to tell me about the book "The Artist Way," which introduces the morning pages technique. Morning pages are three handwritten pages done every morning, the earlier in the day the better. The idea behind them is that they clear the brain of clutter and help one become more creative during the day.

What does this have to do with you, lovely blog? Well, I find that with morning pages I am writing a lot now: 800-1000 words a day. This is much more than I write with you. With you, I feel I must censor myself. I must have a cohesive thought. I can't be sloppy around you. But morning pages? Ahh.... I can be free. I don't need to use full sentences. I even have spell check turned off! Granted, a lot of what I write for morning pages is nonsense but it's streamlined my brain. Since doing morning pages:

I got a friend to repair the hole in my kitchen ceiling.
I've re-started going push-ups on a daily basis.
I've figured out a great way to keep myself from spending too much time on the computer.
My wedding planning has become more organized.
I've started renovations on my half bath.
I've started repainting my full bath.

But Observations.... lovely System Observations... you too hold a special place in my heart. I share you with my friends. You contain links to the world! Morning pages retains her beauty through her mystery. She cannot be shared with anyone. Blog, you are my day, while morning pages is my night. I can not be without either one of you. Please understand that while our relationship has changed, it has not ended. I look forward to a bright new 2009 with you.

Sincerely,
PSM

Why I love Kunstler

2009-01-05T14:00:00.001-05:00

I have a man-crush on James Howard Kunstler. There. I said it.

Of all the pundits and analysts I've read (and I read a lot) his comments are the only ones that seem to transcend the current hegemony of thought. To a lot of people he seems like some fringe wacko but to me he seem like a modern day Cassandra. (I told you I have a man-crush on him!) Look at his predictions for 2008 and tell me he was wrong. Here is his 2009 post by the way.

So what prompted this post? His blog posting this week focused on our out-going president. I think his concluding paragraph does an amazing job at summarizing the past 8 years:

To me, GWB will remain the perfect representative of his time, place, and culture. During his years in Washington, America became a nation of clowns posturing in cowboy hats, bethinking ourselves righteous agents of Jesus in a Las Vegas of the spirit, where wishing was enough to get something for nothing, where "mistakes were made," but everybody was excused from the consequences of bad choices. ...

Sheer poetry. This guy does not pull any punches. A lot of his conclusion are unsettling and I do hope they are wrong. But I honestly believe he's got his finger on the pulse.

The Commodities of Relationship

2009-01-02T08:20:00.000-05:00

I've noticed that I have this tendency to monitor very closely the give and take in my relationships. Any relationship, romantic or otherwise. If I'm sharing a meal with a friend, I ensure that portions and/or the bill is equally split. When I am doing chores with my husband, I make sure we're both doing equal amounts of work. My motivation behind this is to ensure that my relationships are balanced, no one person doing more than another. No one person lending more money out, or driving the other more, or anything else. I want fair and balanced relationships.

But I've recently begun to realize how childish this is. Not everyone values everything equally. I like to cook and share it with my friends. It is a joy, not a chore. Should I expect someone else to cook for me as much? Or personally, I hate to drive. It stresses me out. Should I ensure that I drive in equal portions with a friend who loves driving? Ridiculous.

On a rational level, it got me thinking about the book "This Organic Life" by Joan Dye Gussow. She does an economic breakdown to determine if it is actually profitable to grow your own food. Her conclusion was that if you love to garden, it's worth it. If you hate to garden, then it's not. Not every person values all activities the same. Not every relationship will have the same balance. It depends on values.

On a more emotional level, I thought back to a book "Smoking Poppy" by Graham Joyce. In this work of fiction the protagonist parses out his love to his family. It reminded me of my balancing act. In the end, he learns that to love someone, you have to open yourself up. Let it in, let it out. I am doing a much better job living this way with my loved ones, but it is difficult to break from the conditioned parsimony. And I also realize that I can't do this with everyone, because there are people out there who will take you for a ride. It's just a matter of figuring it all out and possibly letting yourself be hurt.

And no, you can't have seven dollars... or seven hundred billion for that matter.

Utopias without Time

2008-12-29T14:23:00.000-05:00

I took a "Utopia and the Landscape" seminar in graduate school. Not something explicitly practical from a scientific perspective, but it has been incredibly informative in the way I look at manifesto, mass media and geopolitical trends. I want to discuss the timelessness of utopias and then draw parallels with that and some contemporary trends I've noticed.

Utopias without Time
One of the most interesting things I learned in this Utopia seminar is that utopias are by definition timeless. One cannot have a perfect society in time. There cannot be a history or future. History would make it seem like there is something to learn from. History would show stupid decisions at best and horrors at worst. This cannot be in a utopia! And what about the future? Forget it! There is nothing to build and nothing to aspire to. Avant Garde - beggone! Everything is already perfect. Utopia, in the classic sense, exists as a static moment. Honestly, if you really think about it, utopia (and perfection) can be downright hellish.

Utopia in Time
But as humans, we're always looking to create utopia. (Yes, this can be argued.) So what happens if we hypothetically reached utopia at some point and then went past this point of perfection? I'd argue you'd get today's USA. Now let me qualify, I don't actually believe there ever was a point when all people, irrespective of race and social class had a perfect life. Especially not in the USA. But I believe we came close enough... and have since spiraled away. So what trends do I see pointing back to a near-utopian moment?

First, I see suburban sprawl. This is the physical manifestation of the perfect balance of community and open space.... gone out of control. The volume of suburbs we have in America is not sustainable. Suburban land use patterns are hugely inefficient at providing basic services (hospital, water, social, fire and police). Let's not forget the infrastructure maintenance, and oil and automobile dependence either. Suburbs aren't inherently bad, but when they destroy farmland and hollow out cities, something is out of balance.

Secondly, there is the food we eat. Our farm policies in the US are crafted to provide us with plenty of food. We spend less of our income on food than any generation prior. Perfect right? Well, this food has little-to-no nutrient value. We have a generation raised on sugar, caffeine and fat. This has created an obesity "epidemic" which is leading to huge problems with diabetes and heart disease. But, isn't this abundance?

Thirdly, we have access to perfect information. The internet and our technology does an amazing job of keeping us all in the loop. But a lot of that information can be wrong. And who remembers Enron? That company profited through the manipulation of information only to collapse under its own delusion. Sadly, most of the information we access is meaningless.

Fourthly, our collective apathy. I'm being a little polemic in my language with this one, but as a culture, we no longer seem to remember the past or think about the future. We rack up huge debts on credit without thinking on the long term implications. We build in flood plains and in the path of hurricanes. To me, all of these things shout that, as a culture, we have little concept of what happened in the past or care about what will happen in the future. We are living as if we are in a utopia.

Time will march forward. These systems and trends will either collapse, or reinvent themselves. But people, we don't live in a utopia. We can't expect things to stay the same.

(I'm sure there are other trends out there and I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this.)

Christmas Traditions

2008-12-21T15:30:00.001-05:00

I love Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. There are some traditions that my family would do every year and some we would switch out. In either event, there is a rhythm to those days which remain little changed from my childhood.

Christmas Eve
Sometimes my family would go out for dinner on Christmas Eve. This was always at some nice fancy place, kind of a quiet evening with my family. Those were special, but the real fun happened when we could have Christmas Dinner at Aunt A's house. She would have meatballs, lasagna, breaded clams, calamari, pizzelle, struffoli... The works. This wasn't just for my small nuclear family, but for the larger Italian side of my family. And that is a lot of people. On my father's branch along, I've got seven brothers and sisters. I'm an uncle 15 times over. I am also a great-uncle twice over! And likely my Aunt A's branch is probably even larger. Granted, most of my father's branch doesn't show up, but I think I am conveying the point.

Sometimes that night, we could go to midnight mass. Growing up we would go to the Dutch Reformed Church down the street. As my one brother and I got older, we stopped going. None of us were particularly religions. Just spending time together at home had more meaning for us. We would relax, unwind and have some eggnog. Now as a teenager, I tried implementing this "open one present on Christmas Eve night" tradition. Alas, that one did not stick!

Christmas Day
Obviously, as a child, this was dominated by presents. However, this was soon replaced by Christmas Breakfast. One traditional food that we would make every year was "pizza friet" which, as I understand it, means "fried pizza dough" in Italian. My brother and I would form a pizza friet team. One would cut the dough into interesting shapes, the other would watch the fry pan, flipping and taking out the friet as necessary. My mom would make this really interesting egg and cheese souffle, and sometimes we'd have this cinnamon balls baked together in a bundt pan. All this food definitely became more important than presents.

After we had a huge brunch, we'd then saunter over to the living room and tree. Hudson, my brother's dog was actually the most excited about presents. This dog knows which presents are his (by the scent) and can actually unwrap most presents. It's an amazing thing to watch. One person would be "Santa" and dole out the presents, and we'd make sure everyone got equal shares. As our family grew (with spouses) this part of the day would take up more and more time. We've since agreed to a reduced present load, but somehow we all violate it and go over.

After unwraping presents we'd usually all retreat to our own spaces and rummage through our new hoard of goodies. The afternoon would pass with us relaxing and having some down time.

Christmas dinner was on of two things. When I was smaller, we'd have a ham or turkey for dinner that my mom spent the afternoon cooking. But as I got older, my friends' parents would have my family over for Christmas dinner. These parents, by the way, owned a award-winner, internationally acclaimed pastry shop. So yeah, good food and all my friends were there with all our parents. My friends and I would compare note about presents and hang out. It was good times.

Two days of traditions and non-stop awesomeness with friends and family. That is why I love Christmas time.

Growing Up

2008-12-21T15:10:00.000-05:00

I think I'm growing up. I am not longer quite as excited to visit my mom's house for Christmas. Now, let me preface this a bit. I grew up without my biological father. Family, and family traditions are of extreme importance to be because I was keenly aware of how delicate family life can sometimes be. To this end, I always looked forward to the two weeks around Christmas. My mother is a teacher and she would have those weeks off. My brother would either return from college, or have those weeks off (he's got an awesome boss). The three of us would all be together. It was so special for me. The friends I grew up with would be around. I felt known. I felt understood. I felt like I was surrounded by family.

Now, I have my own house. I am married and have my own family. Granted we don't have kids yet, but hopefully someday. We do have our needy cat though. It's a hassle to leave our house and find someone to water the plants and watch the cat. We have our own tree and our own holiday decorations. My brother has a wife now too. They have their own tree. My mom has even remarried.

So times has changed and I feel like I'm grasping at this romantic notion of my past. I still love my family and I still feel close with them. I can't imagine spending Christmas somewhere else. But I no longer hang around for two weeks. One week is the most I manage now and often times that seems like more than enough.

Tax Exempt

2008-12-15T17:13:00.000-05:00

I've heard a lot of talk about how the Mormon Church, upon pumping millions of dollars into Proposition 8 should have its tax exempt status revoked. Personally, I don't see why ANY church should be tax-exempt. I can understand not getting taxed based on your income from tithes. These are essentially donations, and I think donations should be tax exempt. But people, churches don't have to pay taxes for ANYTHING. My big beef with this is with regard to cities. (Of course it is.)

Cities have a dwindling tax base. Yes, this is largely due to population loss from white flight. However, the number of tax-exempt buildings within most cities is ASTOUNDING. Here's a list off the top of my head of tax-exempt institutions:

Universities
Government Buildings
Hospitals
Churches

And you guessed it, a lot of these institutions are predominantly found in cities. Their concentration is especially high in older cities. And even higher in cities with poverty.

Now, universities are good things to have. Assuming there isn't a walled campus, universities have help cities out tremendously. They bring in young, creative people. They foster new ideas. They give a city a sense of place. Some people even seem to get excited about their athletic programs. Though their grounds are tax-exempt there is a lot of spin off value that is generated.

Government buildings are good to have in cities too. Being located in the urban core means more people have access to the building. Given that governments are technically about all people (not just the rich) this should be a deciding factor. However, it is tough on a city when the municipality hosts not just city hall, but also the county seat, various federal buildings and branches of state offices. Those buildings add up, however they create a stable base of employment which supports various weekday spin-off activities (like lunch spots).

Hospitals. These are definitely important to have in a highly accessible (ie, urban) environment. It doesn't help anyone if by the time they get to the hospital, they are dead. Also, like government buildings and universities, hospitals and generate spin-off income for cities. Bed and breakfasts for families staying near a loved one in the hospital. Restaurants for families. Near-by medical offices.

Now churches. What do churches provide? What do they generate for the civic good? (Note: I am not questioning their spiritual efficacy, but am keeping this to the material body) A single preacher / pastor does not generate much spin off income. One does not see businesses appearing around churches. In fact, in many urban communities, churches spring up everywhere. I know of some parts of my city where there are multiple churches on a block. Keep in mind this is a de-populating rust belt city. Do the few remaining residents really need that many churches? And what happens when the church closes?

In short, get those church off the tax extempt status. Make them pay property tax like any other corporate business. Oh wait.... corporate businesses don't pay taxes either.

Ugh, I'll have to save that for another post....

Life Updates

2008-12-15T17:02:00.000-05:00

Slow Food is moving along nicely. I just have one more piece to fit together before sending out the chapter application. I also need to contact L about getting her web expertise which was so generous that I haven't even been able to respond to her offer. Lame of me, I know.

Wedding Planning is also moving along nicely. We have almost fleshed out our address list. Mike also came up with an awesome idea for our reception location. We received our "save-the-dates" and need to start distributing them. I just wonder if at this point, I should focus more on sending out the actual invitations. Hm.

Music is not moving. I realized that I may have to drop this entirely this year. I would like to go hang out at some jam sessions just to meet the people and take in the music. Unfortunately, I will not realistically be able to dedicate the time to learning a new instrument. On the plus side, I realize I should first learn guitar, that basic instrument, before moving on to more complex instruments, such as a mandolin.

Fraternity is unfortunately moving. I still have three fraternity commitments and one of them is taking up an unhealthy amount of my time. I am beginning to extricate myself from the responsibility of this task. However, this is a very important task and I will not just drop it. It will still take some substantial effort to responsibly pass this task on to another.

Path is slowly moving. Unlike music, which was also supposed to be a stress reliever, Path is actually functioning as a pleasant distraction. I've done more work to craft this work as my own original place and have fleshed out a one-shot adventure highlighting some of Path's unique features.

A business? Hah! I've been so busy with other things I haven't even contemplated it. This is one task that I definitely have put to bed for the time being. Thank goodness!

Brotherhood

2008-12-02T21:57:00.000-05:00

I am a Brother of Delta Lambda Phi. It's official tag line is that it is a fraternity "for gay, bisexual and progressive men" however, I like the tag line "founded by gay men for all men." I've been a Brother since 2001, but have been involved since December 0f 1998. That's ten years now.

During these ten years, I feel I've grown a lot as an individual. Until I decided to become involved in DLP I had never taken on a position of leadership. Now I have plenty of leadership experience. Heck, I speak and give presentations to the public as part of my job now. I am constantly starting projects (not always successfully but such is life). But what has DLP really given me? Would I have grown into a leadership role eventually? A network of Brothers around the county? The ability to help foster the next generation of leader?

Let me focus on this network of friends I can rely on. This is true in the abstract. Unfortunately, when I sit down and look at all of the brothers I've met over the years, I only feel I can really rely on 25 people in the fraternity (give or take). 25 people over 10 years? For an organization that purports to be about brotherhood, those are not the best statistics. Now don't get me wrong. Those 25 (give or take) people are all awesome people who have touched my life in so many ways. I have no regrets about meeting them. But do I regret the time I put in versus the effort I get out?

I believe in the ideals of brotherhood. I consider brothers people who are trustworthy and honest. People who don't just support someone, but who actively build up that person. However, over the many years, I've more often found people who belittle others in order to make themselves look bigger. I've found people who go back on their word. I've found people who are more interested in drinking and/or doing drugs than trying to get to know the person next to them.

Now I don't blame my fraternity. I honestly believe DLP is well intentioned fraternity founded with the best of ideals and principles. I just question if fraternities in general attract these negative types of people. I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't spent all my time on fraternity issues. What it would be like if I got involved in Slow Food ten years ago instead of my fraternity. But then I think about those 25 (give or take) people and I know that the grass will always be greener on the other side.

I've got plenty of years left in me to meet awesome people through Slow Foods.

... besides, I got a cool secret handshake out of the deal.

Musical Follow Up

2008-11-13T13:17:00.000-05:00

So I went to the local community choir last week.

Not feeling it. It felt incredibly disorganized. I didn't get a strong sense of leadership from the conductor. It felt like a bunch of people hanging out and singing around a campfire (or in this case, a stand-up piano). And you know... I can do that with my friends. M and I sing together all the time when we're in the car, or around the house. I want something more professional. I want to take my singing to the next level.

In high school, choir was wonderfully directed. I felt myself learn and grow and make amazing sound. I joined the community choir in my county and I was picked for the a capella group at school. It was great and I still remember some of those madrigal tunes. In college, I feel I leveled off in my development. I joined the university's choir and sang amazing works, and performed in amazing spaces (like at the Boston Symphony Hall). But I wasn't a vocal student, and in a crowd of 300, I was easily overlooked. When I was auditioning for the four (my senior) year the director noticed me. She said I had a wonderful voice and welcomed me to the choir. When I (politely) shared that I had been in the choir for three years already, she was shocked. That year, I was able to do some smaller ensemble singing, but again, I feel that I wasn't able to keep up with all the vocal students.

Five years have passed since I graduated college and I haven't performed since. I know I have a good voice. I know I have a good sense of pitch. The raw talent is there, I just know it. It again all comes down to intention and focus.

I sat down and did a little time analysis in my head: community choir would take roughly 3 hours a week, plus concerts. I would rather spend those three hours taking voice / guitar lessons. Yes, it will cost money, but I believe this is a much more intentional choice than just simply going with what's available.

We'll see. Now I need to find a teacher.

Natural Cycles

2008-11-09T23:06:00.000-05:00

I went for a walk in Three Falls Woods today. It's a 175 acre wood that acts as a buffer between suburban subdivisions and a huge open-pit mine. My friend Z grew up on a house bordering the woods and took me around with M and H.

Now Z is one of the more amazing people I know. She is an environmentalist in a true sense of the word. Her job involves environmental activism. Her spirituality is both earth-based and rooted in political activism. Heck, she even lives cooperatively.

And driving into Manlius and looking around at the sub-division in which she grew up, I couldn't help but be surprised. In my experience, I've found that subdivisions created zombie people beholden to consumerism and cut off from the rhythms of the planet. How could my awesome activist friend be a subdivision monkey?

I found my answer at Three Falls Woods. Her property bordered onto the woods and she literally had a backyard of waterfalls and woods in which to grow up. The place was beautiful. The leaves were off the trees and there was a simple calm about the land. The air was fresh but not frozen. The geology was very... interactive. The path was uneven and people would stumble as a rock would jump out at them. Moss carpeted the exposed cool gray stones. And then we got to the waterfall basin. I could see where the ancient falls rushed into the hollow and smiled at the three little streams that remained, claiming the right of water to erode.

It was a great walk and it got me thinking about how our childhood homes shape us. I grew up on the tidal portion of the Hudson River near the ocean. I used to think all bodies of water had tides and that when my shore was at high tide, the opposite shore was at low tide! I would scamper among the exposed rocks looking for baby crabs or eels when the tide was out. I explored the wetlands and find forgotten trees and hidden streams. I wandered around neighboring woods and saw old stone farm walls, waterfalls and abandoned swiming basins. My brother and I both grew up in this environment. And while we turned out quite differently we both carry a strong environmental ethic. Z, growing up at the edge of Three Falls also grew up with a similar ethic.

This helps me understand why I find the whole Slow Food movement so important. Not everyone can have access to large amounts of greenspace in the way that Z and I did and see natural cycles unfold like that, but everyone can get involved with the natural cycles of food. If people have the space they can plant some edibles in their garden. At the very least one can still plant a fruit tree along the street, or have a window box of herbs. These cycles release anxiety in a stress-inducing modern world. (I know the studies are out there but I can't find a link - help, anyone?)

I was given a great gift by growing up with access to nature. My walk today remined me of it and helped me understand why Slow Food is so important to me.

Growth

2008-11-07T15:15:00.000-05:00

Capitalism needs to expand to survive. Capitalist economies were first set up during the Colonial Era. Companies took resources from around the world and made a profit off of them. This ended when governments were established around the globe. However, free market policies turn governments into the next resource to exploit. The intent is to hollow out governments so they only exist to collect taxes and manage contacts. Contract out health care. Create vouchers for private schools instead of having public schools. Hire mercenaries instead of using our own military.

Without continued expansion, capitalism starts collapsing. We all saw it with the stock market this fall. One horrible day spirals into another horrible day, which continues the trend. Capitalism is a positive feedback loop: growth creates more growth, decline creates a further decline. And in nature, there is only one thing that following a positive feedback loop: cancer.

The ultimate problem here is that we live on a finite world with finite resources. Markets can't grow forever. The planet has been exploited. Governments are being exploited. I can only guess at what next the market will go after in its continuing quest to expand.

Economics is Politics

2008-11-07T13:41:00.001-05:00

This summer I read Naomi Klein's The Shock Doctrine. It was intense. The Shock Doctrine shows how the driving force behind many recent political maneuverings have been about an economic showdown. One on side of the ring you have the regulatory Keynesian economic policies. On the other you have the unregulated free market policies of Milton Friedman.

Before reading this book, I was like "well, some regulation is good to protect the environment but welfare does not work, our school system has a lot of problems, and government is bloated and ineffectual." I said this from experience: I worked in government. However, reading this book made me realize that I wasn't thinking about the implied values of each system.
The private sector largely has one bottom line: Increase revenues.
The public sector also has a bottom line: Protect the health, safety and welfare of its citizens.
Is this a simplification? Yes. But at its core the difference is there. When push comes to shove, a company needs to either stay profitable or go bankrupt. Governments are built to answer to their constituents.

Klein uses the formerly-communist countries of South America as one case study. Under Keynesian (socialist) policies, these democracies were approaching First World status. People didn't want free market policies. The US had to forcibly replace democracies with dictators because no freely elected politician would sell out his/her people. These coups weren't about Cold War influence - it was about pushing through economic "reforms." (Also: note the language American media uses toward the contemporary socialist: Hugo Chavez)

With free markets, the poor got poorer and the rich got richer. The middle class vanished and things became very dog eat dog. As a whole, the country became more poor. That is what pure capitalism, without regulation brought to South America. Look around. It's happening here in the US too.

Where goes the intention

2008-11-03T08:43:00.001-05:00

As a follow up to my last post, I've been thinking about what it means to be successful at something. Confidence is one part yes, but I realize it's also about where I'm putting my energy. To get specific, right now I have a bunch of balls in the air. I usually do. Here they are:

Get a chapter of Slow Food USA started here in Syracuse. You can read more about that here.
Evolve Path. Path is the name I use for the world in my head. No, this isn't some crazy thing (I don't think....), but I use it for running my roleplaying campaigns and as the setting for my fantasy writing.
Fix up my house and yard.
Plan for my wedding. Yes, I'm getting married. Next August 8th.
Get in touch with my musical side. I recently reached out to initiate contact with some folk musicians in the area (Syracuse / Central New York has an amazing folk scene).
Start a small side business (see previous post). I've settled on the idea of being a designer for people's houses and landscape. My spin? I'd be doing it with an east/west fusion of principles. When all is said and done, I have some strong credentials to stand upon with this one: Masters of Landscape Architecture, Bachelors in Geology and Geography, and nearly ten years of experience with Feng Shui and eastern aesthetic principles.
Stay involved with my fraternity. Once a brother always a brother. My home chapter closed down this summer and I've spoken about working to organize my chapter's alumni and get something started again in Boston.

Phew. My point in all this is, confidence is good, but focus is better. Where goes the intention, goes the energy. My intention is scattered. Here is my resolution about these tasks / foci below:

Slow Food. Getting this chapter started is very important to me. I also believe it will help with my wedding, as I want the wedding to have a strong component of local food involved. This one get's the majority of my attention right now. I should do something about this daily.
Path. At it's core, this is make believe and I do realize that. It's a fun stress relief to contemplate on this one. This one get's some attention, mainly as a stress relief. Spend a few hours a week on this.
Home Improvement. It's getting into fall. Things are winding down. There are still some projects that I want to get done before spring, but again, this is not a high priority. This is also a stress relief (when things don't explode on me). Spend a few hours a week on this.
Wedding. This is my ceremony comitting myself to Mike for this life. Super important to me. This one get's the second largest part of my attention. Mike and I really need to finalize our guest list and talk to places about getting our reservations together.
Music. This is another creative outlet / stress relief. I realized I don't have the time to committ myself to anything serious right now. I am just going to join the local community choir to keep my chops warm until I have more free time. Spend a few hours a week on this.
Business. Yeah... Not going to happen until this Slow Food thing has a bit of its own momentum and my wedding is complete. Spend no time on this until next year.
Fraternity. Another "Yeah....." This one is also not going to happen. Honestly, I started my home chapter way back as an undergrad. It's time to let someone else carry the torch. I would be very excited to support someone in this, but it's not going to be me leading the charge. Spend no time on this until I see someone else taking a leadership role.

Phew again. It's good to sort all this out. Daily focus: Slow Food and the wedding. Weekly / Stress Relief: Music, Path and Home Improvement. See Ya Later: Business and Fraternity.

Confidence

2008-10-30T13:24:00.001-04:00

So in 28 years of life, I've wanted to be....

an architect
a geologist
a tarot reader / psychic
the owner of a gem and mineral store
a professional musician (tuba or voice)
a cartographer / GIS technician
an accupuncturist
a traffic engineer
a landscape architect
a Feng Shui consultant
a transportation planner
a community designer
a politician (very briefly, thank all the gods)
a developer
a farmer / urban farmer
a sci-fi fantasy writer
a graphic designer
a folk singer
a food activist
a community organizer

.... and I ask myself, "what the hell?" My interests are all over. I wish I could just focus on one thing, but my mind craves doing different things to keep my interests. I enjoy making people happy and smile. I enjoy alone time. I enjoy being outdoors. I enjoy being behind a computer. I enjoy flexibility with my time. I enjoy working with my hands and my body. I enjoy sitting back and thinking. I enjoy writing.

Right now I work for the government, and that is fine. I like my hours, salary, benefits, and coworkers. I'm even allowed to be somewhat creative and progressive. But, like a good friend of mine, I have this feeling that I'm spending my life living for someone else. I want to live for myself.

What is a career anyway? Can "being myself" be a career? I would love to be an independent contractor, but I asking for money is difficult for me. Let me be frank with myself: I mysticize the exchange of funds from client to contractor to disempower myself from facing my fears of inadequecy. I am afraid I'm not good enough to get paid for the work I do. And the catch? There isn't even a "work" that I am doing to be afraid to ask for the money (kudos if you can follow that twisted psycho-logic).

So to empower myself. Starting small seems like good common sense. Pick something to do that gets paid per hour and start doing it informally. Then, as word gets out, make a transition to start doing it formally. The question is, what to do? I don't have enough confidence in anything I do to ask someone to give me money. However, it seems likely that the deficiency isn't in my skills, but moreso my confidence is deficient.

So I have two tasks ahead of me:

Become more confident then. I'm open to suggestions on how to do this.
Choose something to do as a contractor.

Dangerous Suburbs

2008-10-28T11:40:00.000-04:00

It's always nice to have confirmation of my rants. In my last post I talked about how there is a greater perception of danger in cities, but the reality is that suburbs are actually more dangerous. I got to this point through reasoning through my points, but I didn't do a study or look for statistics. Well, here is the statistic: You’re 20 percent more likely to die in the suburbs from accidental deaths. (And by accidental deaths, we are referring to cars.) Here's the article. It's largely about how our land use patterns contribute to many chronic health problems. Sounds like a future post to me.....

Fear of the City

2008-10-27T13:29:00.001-04:00

The myth: "Cities are dangerous. Suburbs are safe." This is such a common myth and I have no idea why it exists. I can only point my finger to mass media's focus on spectacle to an increasingly anesthetized audience. It's so chilling and mind numbing in its simplicity. The media focuses on gang violence, guns in schools, rape, and other graphic and disturbingly violent crimes. Do these crimes happen more frequently in cities? Well, to be honest, yes. However, where will I be safer: a city or a suburb? The answer is a city. There are three factors that explain why: (1) the density of crime, (2) the propensity of crime and (3) the type of crime.

Density of Crime
This is going to sound crazy but.... there's more crime in the city because there is a higher density of people in the city. Instead of thinking about the sheer number of crimes, think about the crimes per capita. It's surprising how the city-to-suburb field levels out. Another aspect of this is there is greater social friction in cities. People in cities knock elbows with one another, while people in the suburbs have plenty of elbow room. There is a greater chance for interaction, and thereby a greater chance for conflict. However, there is also a greater (I would argue MUCH greater) chance for serendipity to occur when interacting with someone.

Propensity of Crime
This aspect gets into the types of crimes found in a city. The annual list of Safest / Most Dangerous Cities is complied by looking at six types of crime:

Murder
Rape
Robbery
Aggravated assault
Burglary
Motor vehicle theft

As uncomfortable as this is to admit, studies find that murder, rape, and aggravated assault mostly happen between people who know one another. Yes, there is the rare case of the rapist attacking a random person in a park, or of a stranger getting held at gun point (these stories make wonderful fodder for sensationalist media, by the way). However, most often these situations happen between people who know one another. And yes, they happen frequently in impoverished (urban) communities where role models and supportive families are few and far between.

That leaves us with robbery, burglary, and motor vehicle theft. Now these can happen to anyone. But, these are all easy to avoid if people take precautions. Most of these precautions simply involve using common sense and trusting your instincts.

Type of Crime
In my mind, this is the clincher. Yes, we can worry about the six crimes above from happening to us, but do you know what is the biggest cause of accidental deaths? CARS. And it has been for years. One person is killed every five minutes from a car accident. So really, don't live in fear of someone coming along and shooting or raping you. You should live in fear of your car. Bringing this back to the urban / suburban divide... where do people drive more? The suburbs. Where do people taking longer driving trips? The suburbs. No matter what way you cut it, if you're in the suburbs, chances are you'll be driving a heck of a lot more than your urban counterparts. Think about that next time your turn the ignition!

Conclusion
The "Cities are dangerous. Suburbs are safe." myht is completely false. The city is actually safer than the suburbs. Per capita, crime rates are not much different between the two. Urban crimes do not affect most people who use common sense and avoid dangerous situations. And really, the level of danger in your life ultimately comes down to how much you drive.

My first blog

2008-10-24T23:53:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the 21st Century.

Blogging always seemed so self indulgent to me. Who would want to read about my self-aware comments? Would the fact that this is being broadcast to the entire world shape what I put on here? I don't have answers to these questions, but I will tell you this: I read my friend's blogs. Moreso, I *like* reading my friend's blogs. So maybe, just maybe people would want to read my blog.

Since this is my first post, I want to record the types of things I expect to discuss here. Let's see how accurate this becomes.

Food: Slow Food, food systems, seasonal eating, productive landscapes, urban gardening, cooking and recipes.
Books: sci-fi, fantasy, non-fiction, history, politics, and economics.
Design: landscape architecture, urban design, public art, and Park(ing) Day
Sustainability: Peak Oil, transportation planning, highway infrastructure, urban living, Onondaga Creek, local living / local history, fixing up my house

Let's see how this all pans out.